let's see how far we've come

I've Moved

2009-06-16T17:07:00.002+08:00

I've moved!
here's the link!

bad things don't just happen for a reason

2009-01-06T22:18:00.002+08:00

Just when things were starting to get better, the sucky thing called 'life' deals you a horrible blow.
That's the nature of this world. When it rains, it pours.

All I'm going to say is that Damian's perfect record has just been broken. On hindsight, it was meant to go down. All records will be destroyed someday, let alone a record that was sitting on such dangerous grounds. Furthermore, its just a trivial record kept for vanity's sake and I should not be depressed over such trivial, insignificant things. I have to get over this.

Looks like my 2009 isn't off to a good start. Let's hope it doesn't end in shambles.

I pray for its swift arrival.

2009-01-02T23:37:00.005+08:00

The grass is always greener on the other side.

I sometimes wonder why I ever chose to be in Medicine, to join a faculty where everyone is incredibly driven and never afraid to show it. Its like subjecting oneself to torture or locking yourself in a pressure cooker. The pressure is stifling and while it doesn't knock you out in the very first instance, it takes time to build up in intensity until the combined pressure becomes just simply too much to handle. That's when you are forced to implode.

I must admit that, up to now, I've never had to grapple with this unfortunate truth. Today was the day that I actually felt and witnessed the intensity of it all, the way the all encompassing pressure engulfs you and threatens to overpower you. I've finally had to face it and I'm telling you, I definitely do not want to have to face it again.

Its times like this when the unfortunate little thing called 'regret' would start to rear its ugly head, and then you wonder why you chose to let yourself be cooked in the pressure cooker in the first place. You start to wonder how life would be if you chose to be locked on the other side of the fence, to roam free among the fields and to find yourself with the time to stop and smell the flowers, instead of being hustled along a long stretching road of never-ending competitions and challenges. Its times like this when the tricky little thing called 'doubt' starts to surface in your heart and mind, and then you wonder if you can handle the immense pressure of it all; if you are equipped to survive the rat-race, if you are on par with your fellow compatriots.
You start wondering if you can ever match up to them, if you can ever compete with them, because you realise you just don't have the strength, stamina or speed to match them, because you don't see the point in doing so.

These are the days where the wish to NOT be in the race really surfaces. I can honestly say that I really really wish that I was free and carefree like Chen Sheng and just strolling down a beach somewhere along the Malayan Coast, singing a couple of Pantuns, with hardly a care for the world. Or exploring the streets of Europe and learning about the local history and culture.
Some people would call this desire of mine to be escapism. I view it as liberation.

At this point in time, I would give anything to be living a carefree life and to not be stuck in the cruel and ultra-competitive world of Medical School. I am honestly, quite sick of all the everyday politics and subtle rivalries as people, be it enemies, rivals and even friends, struggle to outwit and outmatch each other. It is just exhausting, too exhausting for one to have to face.

Everything has got to have an ending. I pray for its swift arrival.

如燕

2009-01-02T00:23:00.002+08:00

"如燕" - Olivia Ong
愿意合上眼才能美梦无边
别让悔熏乌了从前

也许碎片才能让回忆展颜
何妨瓷花拼凑明天

谁带我寻获幸福的模
却自己谜中困锁

谁为我留下缱绻的天涯
信物是抹晚霞

Chorus:
思念如燕它飞舞舌尖
若是真爱配尝几分苦甜

意念婆娑时间里推磨
追随到何处才结果

燕如针线在青空缝编
几幅女红将以泪缀点

誓言斑驳情雾只是经过
风雨中且让我盈步婀娜
_______________________

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Changes are gonna come to this blog, I promise!

The Little Nonya

2008-12-25T23:43:00.002+08:00

I'm sorry to say that I've gotten hooked by the channel 8 drama, 'The Little Nonya'!

Its not as if the acting's stellar or fantastic and the plot's rather tragic and crappy at times. But because the plot is SO DAMN tragic, I'm sorta addicted because I have this urge to find out just how tragic people's lives can be!
Very morbid. But that's human nature. The extent of the bullying and mental torture in the drama is of epic proportions man.

Just an observation though. I realized that many of my favourite characters always end up with very very tragic endings. They either get raped and turn mad or they are victims of unrequited love and end up getting murdered. That said, I also noticed that I almost NEVER like the main characters. No idea why though.

Poor Yuzhu! Seeing her terrible fate unfold has got to be one of the most excruciating experience on television ever. And poor Chen Sheng as well. =(

Can't wait for the serial to end though. Release me from all the emotional cliff hangers!

The Tales of Beedle the Bard

2008-12-09T21:17:00.001+08:00

Its been over a year since the release of 'Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows', and with the completion of the Harry Potter series, I found a huge void in my literary pursuits, a void which still has yet to be filled by any new series. Indeed, without a future Potter book to speculate on, life lost some of its appeal and joy. I really miss the good old days, where I could actually just surf fan-sites when I'm bored and read all the various theories floating around the internet, ranging from those that were highly plausible, to those that were utterly preposterous.

Then came the news that JK Rowling acutally wrote 'The Tales of Beedle the Bard', which was a book that actually had quite a small, but important role to play in the final installment of the Harry Potter series. While initially it was meant to be a personal gift to 7 special people who had helped Rowling in her creation of Harry Potter, fate would have it be that the generous people at Amazon.com, who won the bid in a charity auction for one of the 7 original copies, decided to publish the book for the general public, all in the name of charity. Rowling, being a mightily generous lady herself, gave her stamp of approval, and all these set into motion the necessary steps needed to publish this quirky, but imaginative addition to the Harry Potter universe.

I was, of course, overjoyed upon hearing the news, because a small but insistent part of me never wanted to bid goodbye to the world of Harry Potter and the fact that Rowling actually penned this book of short stories implied that there was still a chance (and even future chances) that there would be continual add-ons to the already wonderful world of Harry Potter, a world that I have grown to love and cherished! All these meant that I would be allowed to postpone saying my goodbyes to a world that I've been obsessed over the past 8 years of my sorry, sad existence.

'The Tales of Beedle the Bard' contains five different wizarding fairy tales. Like muggle fairy tales, each tale has its own moral lessons to it. Unfortunately, some of the stories are quite twisted, and thus the morals they teach may not pertain to the teachings of many of my muggle colleagues and friends. Nonetheless, I am sure they are still of certain relevance to the muggle world. Each story is unique, extremely quirky, and downright wicked. However, the most delightful thing of this rather short read are the commentaries & notes for each story, written by Professor Albus Dumbledore himself! Dumbledore's commentaries are riddled with examples of his amazing dry wit and rather perverse sense of sardonic humour. In today's context, his commentaries are a starling masterclass on how to be a classy bitch! All in all, it is a rather enjoyable read and will be a hoot to many!

If anything, the book has taught me the dangers of having a hairy heart. Highly recommended to all who loved and enjoyed the Harry Potter books, and dearly miss the good old days where we were allowed to be fanatical and obsessed over them!

愛在波希米亞

2008-12-02T19:07:00.001+08:00

愛在波希米亞 - 蘇打綠 / 魏如萱
我想踏著不存在的音階往上
漂流在貓與兔子共處的海洋
我們互不相讓又不屬於對方
離開不只關扇窗

和你一起歌唱像密謀的拾荒
躺在命運前後顧左右而言他
兩個人交叉比對過後的信仰
總大過獨自感傷

反覆的詠嘆哪有種愛叫做波西米亞
飄散的薔薇花天冷時也不流浪
所以我和你啊在分手時候好整以暇
等晴朗等健康等到寂寞都退潮才收拾行囊

生命的月台上有愛也有失望
我是誰我也不懂只是愛吟唱
雨被春天的河床沒收成出發
告別轉彎的地方

反覆的詠嘆哪有種愛叫做波西米亞
任時間脫了韁青春是耽溺的妝
張開眼夢中央空蕩蕩星光占領圍牆
輝煌的仍張揚只是微笑了送你從回憶離場
_______________________________________________

Its december already! A new year is coming!
Time to revitalize this place. Or even choose to dispose of it!

'it is also a lie.'

2008-11-21T23:37:00.001+08:00

I miss Harry Potter. Sigh.

the time for change has come

2008-11-05T20:05:00.005+08:00

Barack Obama has won the US elections, and will become the 44th President of the United States of America. In doing so, he will be the first African-American President to be sworn into office. What an awesome feeling it is, to be watching right before our eyes as history is being made!

I think that its amazing how he has staged this amazing path to victory, from being a junior senator that everyone hardly knew, to become the man that he is today, the man that is the President-elect of the USA, the man that everyone wants to know more about. From his arduous fight against Hilary Clinton for the Democratic nomination, to the final duel with John McCain for the Presidency, Obama has never failed to impress me.

There was something different about him, something that both Clinton and McCain lacked. Maybe it was the steady way he spoke, maybe it was the way he carefully ponders and chooses his words, maybe it was calm, soothing nature of his voice, but Barack Obama gave me a sense of confidence, a sense of hope, a sense that something good can and WILL be done to the World, that there was something out there worth fighting for. I felt that he was able to connect with him, to inspire me and that he knew what he was fighting for, that he strongly believed in the ideals he believed in. Most importantly, he restored my sense of hope! He restored my belief in the way we individuals can make a difference, he gave me a pride for the collective spirit of the human world; he reminded me of what it feels like to dare to dream and reinvigorated my view of the future with hope. I have never felt this excited and expectant of the better days to come!

Watching Obama's victory speech made the victory especially sweet. Its a very different speech from that which he made at the Democratic National Convention a few months back. The previous speech was just inspiring. This speech was noticeably more subdued, but not without strength; the mood was somber but not sullen. This was a man who was humbly accepting the enormous responsibility that his country had placed upon on him, this was a man who was expressing gratitude to the millions of people who placed their hopes and dreams into his hands. This was a man who knew that, not just his nation, but the entire world was counting on him to show the leadership needed to lead humanity out of a dark and despairing time. And it is by no means going to be an easy task.

8 years of policies under the Bush administration has left behind an America so divided, so weak and weary that it has now started to drag the world along with it as well. The economy is in shambles, the 2 wars unsettled, the outlook is bleak and depressing. Dark clouds loom within everyone's minds. Obama has to pick up the pieces of a nation (and a world) frustrated and disgusted with the way America has devolved into a nation so troubled and inconsistent. He has to clean up Bush's huge stinking mess. He has to restore pride and honor to the United States, and to reignite America's leadership of the world. While it is highly unlikely that he will succeed in resolving every single problem that Bush has left behind (IT is a rather BIG mess!), I have no doubt that Obama will do everything he can within his power to bring about the change that we sorely need. It really is the time for America, for the rest of the world to change, not in the way and direction that George W.Bush has misguided us for the past 8 years, but to truly change for the better.

The time for change has finally, come.

Grey's is back!

2008-11-01T00:32:00.002+08:00

Grey's Anatomy is back, and its back to its former glory!

The latest season has so far been great! All the episodes were darn enjoyable! Fantastic! =)

It feels like the writers have finally gotten the formula right again. With fascinating new couplings and classical old ones, the show is on its track to greatness again. And I'm extremely happy for that!

I LOVE MEREDITH GREY!

I LOVE TINA FEY!

2008-10-14T20:35:00.002+08:00

Oh my god, these three videos are amazing! Tina Fey is damn funny and I love her impersonation of Sarah Palin! SPOT ON! I have no idea how Palin ever manage to clinch the Republican vice-presidential candidacy, I mean, here we have a woman who totally doesn't know anything about politics. Her interviews make her sound so so stupid, and I dunno, is she even a REAL human? For all you know, she could be some stretford wife with really cool glasses or a cyborg built by the desperate Republicans as a last ditch candidate. Heck, she could even be George W.Bush in drag!

ANYWAY. Tina Fey rocks my socks! I really should be studying for my end of surgery posting test on Thursday, but here I am laughing my butt off. Ah well, what can you do about such things eh?

starcraft 2, the trilogy

2008-10-11T17:05:00.002+08:00

Well, its been announced that Starcraft 2 is going to be released as a trilogy of 3 separate campaigns, each over 30 missions long! Reactions by the massive hordes of fans have so far been mixed, but I've gotta say I can't wait for all 3 installments to be released and that I'm definitely going to buy them all! WOO HOO!
Hopefully the first installment will be out next year.

迟到千年

2008-09-28T12:37:00.003+08:00

Get this widget

Track details

eSnips Social DNA

迟到千年 - 苏打绿
卮言春天破碎秋千
踟蹰不如停止抱歉
再过秋天烂了蜿蜒
红灯你搁浅

只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
发间在印象中被蔓延
你说你放弃了八月
其实不需要蜻蜓点水
打昏自己食髓知味
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添

阖起厌倦压坏了肩
缩成了点还是一条线
接近直觉溺死诡谲
最熟最烂你的脸

只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
发间在印象中被蔓延
你说你放弃了八月
其实不需要蜻蜓点水
打昏自己食髓知味
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添

只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
发间在印象中被蔓延
你说你放弃了八月
其实不需要蜻蜓点水
打昏自己食髓知味
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添

只是你迟到一千年
黄昏后就不会有夜
吞了你用力一口下餍
捧起碗在倥侗增添
________________________________

You know a song is cool when you don't really understand what the lyrics are saying.
That said, I think alot of things in life come at a time when its too late. You only get what you want at a time when you don't want it anymore. Such is the irony of life. Bleah.

Its been almost two weeks since my last entry here. That's probably the longest time I'd ever left an active blog hanging without an update.

I find it strange that everytime I meet up with non-medicine people, they always ask me the same question - 'How's medical school?' and I always give them the same answer - 'Like that lor.' I just can't put the frustration and exhaustion into words. But I must say my non-medical school friends have been very very understanding and supportive of my foray into medicine, and everytime I meet up with them, they always help me rediscover some of the passion that's been extinguished by the stress and demands of medical school life.

I will try to smile.

Loads of people are flying off again, so much so that I can't even bloody keep track of who is flying off and WHEN they are flying off. Then again, I'm so busy that I don't think I can really go see people off in the first place. So to anyone who is flying off and still reads this blog, bon voyage and good luck in your studies! Don't get into too much seedy sex, drugs and booze over in the western land of vice!

pathological state of mind

2008-09-12T20:58:00.002+08:00

Tomorrow's Pathology CA is going to make a pathological mess out of me!

Damian is awfully bored and sick of looking at anymore pathological slides/pots. But Damian can't stop because he is scared that he'll die for it, when 249 of his cohort mates are taking this latest CA so seriously. Damian sincerely wishes that he could just flunk it, because its taking too much effort to do the opposite. However, Damian's pride is a nasty thing that refuses to let him throw the towel into the recycling bin... because Damian has (so far) never failed a test in Med School and he intends maintain that record til he ~~dies~~ graduates from friggin' Med School.

Pride is a stupid thing, and Damian hates it. Damian belongs to a faculty where no one wants to lose, and no one can lose, so Damian is angry, frustrated, disgusted, irritated, chronically pissed off with himself for being in an industry that demands the best of you every single day. Damian really wants to just watch Sodagreen everyday.

Unfortunately, Damian actually loves pathology. All the blood and gore speaks to him like art to Picasso and music to Beethoven. Blood and gore is fun, blood and gore is cool, blood and gore makes the world go deliriously wild and round round round!
Wetter, bloodier, messier! Love the world!

幾米音樂劇《向左走向右走》

2008-09-11T00:33:00.000+08:00

我好想看喔！
可惜我不住在台湾... =/

好想念苏打绿!

why the ambivalence, i will never know.

2008-08-30T23:41:00.003+08:00

I really find myself having less and less things to blog about. I don't know if its because I've become less introspective, or more used to the way life sucks, but yes, I'm feeling drained and dry all the time. I lack the inspiration to blog and I'm seriously considering leaving blogging altogether. Then I won't have anymore excuses to not join facebook.

Ambivalence. That's the word to describe how I've been feeling over the past week.
I don't know if you guys noticed, but its been a wet week. Every morning, I wake up to rain, which totally kills my mood and desire to go out, so I'll just choose to mope at home and play computer games til I feel like puking. Then I'll stop and maybe just read a bit of Pathology to try and dissipate a little of the guilt that builds up in me. But yes, I find life just too ordinary to have any thoughts and feelings. Ask me how I'm feeling and I'll say that I'm not feeling particularly happy or delighted with the way things are going, but then again, I'm not feeling particularly depressed or resentful about anything in life as well.

And that's the problem. Its just a state of ambivalence, where nothing seems to matter and nothing seems to inspire me or excite me. So I just don't feel anything at all. And that is why I don't think I should continue blogging anymore because I feel like I've nothing else to say or share with whoever still reads this place. I dunno. Maybe I just need to find another direction with my blogging, revamp my blogging so as to develop something that would interest me again, because right now, my passion for blogging's really a far cry from the passion I had 2 years ago.

Then again, it could just be the fact that I live a rather boring life. But I'm too lazy to seek adventure. Blah.

goodbye Beijing, hello London!

2008-08-24T23:01:00.003+08:00

Let's all say goodbye to Beijing for 16 splendid days of amazing competition!

I'm glad they managed to hold the Olympics without any major problems, and I must say they blew away all my expectations concerning how they would host the games. I was very worried that there would be blemishes here and there, but the organisation of the games just looks perfect. The venues were all amazing, in particular the Water Cube.
I have to say that that building is a work of art. It is a beautiful piece of architecture that just evokes alot of feeling and emotion in me... Something about it just spells unspeakable beauty, more so than the Bird's Nest National Stadium.
But yes, the games were very well organised and it really had a great impact on the city because Beijing looks so much greener, cleaner and friendlier a place right now. We really are seeing a side of the Chinese that we have never seen before: that of a people that's gracious, friendly and always smiling.
These games really have brought the world and China closer, and hopefully it'll usher in an era of greater co-operation and mutual understanding.

There were many moments in these games that I absolutely enjoyed.
The amazing opening ceremony that stunned the world was definitely one of them. It was well choreographed and perfectly executed and showcased that wonders that China could bring to the world.
Michael Phelps and his 8 Golds. It was just amazing, watching him win every single Gold medal and achieve history. This man is one of my greatest sporting idols and I'm so honored to have been alive to witness history being made.
The Singapore table tennis girls and their long awaited Silver medal. Thank you so much for achieving something that the nation has been waiting for a long long time.
Usain Bolt and his 3 sprinting Golds. He may be a show-off, but he deserves every right because he IS the fastest man alive.
Chris Hoy and his 3 cycling Golds. The most successful British athlete from these games. I'm very happy with the amazing performance of the British team! 19 Golds! Definitely their best performance at an Olympic games in recent times!
Yelena Isinbayeva from Russia, the Queen of the Pole Vault. I'll never forget how she made a whole stadium of spectators wait just so that she could attempt to break her world record... which she did.
Matthew Mitcham from Australia, who did an amazing last dive to snatch the last diving Gold from China and prevent the Chinese from sweeping the diving medals.
And many other moments that I just can't list out right now....

There were, of course, moments of controversy and heartache.
Liu Xiang's shocking pull out from his race broke the hearts of 1.3 billion people, and to watch this former champion do so was just... horrifying.
Cuba's Angel Valodia Matos, a former Olympic champion in Taekwondo who kicked the referee's face after being ruled to have lost the game and thus earning a life long ban from his sport, effectively putting an end to his career.
All these showcase the fact that the Olympics really does bring out the best and the worst in people. You see the heroic sides of these amazing champions, but you also witness the horrible sides of some of the fallen heroes as well.

The next few days will be particularly depressing, considering that there won't be anymore Olympics action to look forward to anymore. How unfortunate because I'll be having my one week break now before I start my Surgery posting and I would have all the time in the world to watch some Olympics action. But oh well, my EOPT (WHICH WAS A TOTAL DISASTER!) marked the end of both my Medicine posting and the Olympics, so I won't have a chance to properly enjoy the Olympics. Talk about bad timing, but that is just life.

And so, we'll see the Olympics again when it reaches London in 2012. It'll be a different feeling altogether, a totally different kind of games. Beijing had splendor and extravagance, but I think London would focus instead on celebrating youth and vitality. Both are two of my favourite cities in the world, and I'm just happy to know that both are hosts for back to back Olympics.

And so its goodbye Beijing! I enjoyed every minute of what you had to offer!
And now its hello London! See you in 2012! I can hardly wait! =)

its time to perform

2008-08-21T21:56:00.002+08:00

And so, tomorrow's the start of my dreaded End-of-Medicine-Posting test. Tomorrow's going to be just part 1. Part 2 (probably the more stressful and terrifying component) is going to be on Saturday. After the past 9 weeks of struggling to learn something during postings, I've finally come down to the point where I'm going to find out whether I've succeeded in learning enough to past the first big test of the Clinical years. Unfortunately, my first test has to be one of the biggest tests of all.

If you thing about it, the EOPT is something like an Olympic event. We slog so hard, put in so much effort, doing the same Physical exams over and over again, reading the same topic over and over again, thinking about the same problems over and over again... all for the 2 days of assessment, 2 days where every little thing matters. The examiners (or judges) aren't going to look at what you had achieved over the past few months, they are going to look at what you are going to write and do in the next two days. So yeah, its like the Olympics. You train your ass off for the past 4 years just to qualify for an event and when the time comes for you to perform on the world's biggest sporting stage, you either rise magnificently to the occasion, or you fall, face flat without a shred of dignity.

Your tutors can teach you that much. Your coaches can advise you that much. But ultimately, it comes down entirely to your own ability to handle the pressure, to think straight, to perform everything according to the way you have been practicing. There will be mistakes and there will be surprises, but if you have the mentality of a champion, you can face these minor hiccups, carry out damage control and convert them into lifesavers that would save the whole routine. You may not win Gold, but what matters is that you don't give up, you don't break down under pressure and you participate in one of the greatest shows in your life.

How fitting that the Olympics come to an end, just when my own medical posting comes to a close. So yeah, the end of EOPT coincides nicely with the Closing Ceremony of the Olympics. What a nice way to wrap things up.

the greatest olympian in recent times

2008-08-17T12:37:00.003+08:00

And so it is. History has been rewritten, and Michael Phelps has beaten Mark Spitz 36-year record of winning the most Gold medals in a single Olympic Games. I know that everyone's been talking about how amazing this man has been, but I just have to say it again - this guy is phenomenal.

I've been a fan of Phelps ever since he first made waves at the Athens 2004 games where we all know he was also up for 8 medals then and he took home 6 Golds, 1 Silver and 1 Bronze then. And now look what he has achieved 4 years down the road. 8 freaking gold medals. Imagine what the reaction back home if Singapore had managed to achieve that.

This is one of the reasons that I love the Olympics. I love it when other people succeed it things that I will never be able to do and achieve. The rise of these sporting legends are just so touching and fascinating to watch. You see them rise, and sometimes, you see them fall. But the way they work towards getting their goals, the way they force themselves to step up and get onto the podium is just inspiring. It takes so much guts, mental strength, perseverance to achieve such things, which are elements that I probably will never have. I wish I could have just a tiny fraction of the attributes that these greats possess.

Now that he has broken Mark Spitz record, there will always be debates about Michael Phelps and whether he can truly be considered the greatest Olympian of all time. I think its silly to have such a title, because ALL Olympians are great. You can never equate their achievements because what they have achieve individually is already an awe-inspiring achievement. Michael Phelps is a great Olympian, one of many great and legendary Olympians whose amazing feats will be remember forever in the history books. But he certainly is the greatest Olympian in these Beijing Olympics, and I salute him for being that.

the end to 48 years of hoping

2008-08-15T20:21:00.006+08:00

Watching this scene on the television made me tear. =)

And, after three and a half nail-biting hours, the nation ends its 48 year long Olympic medal drought. Incredibly, this is going to be our first medal since independence. What a long wait it's been.

The 3 women must have had tons of pressure on their shoulders, and throughout the match, it seemed as if the pressure was going to break them. There were so many instances when it looked as if they were going to, once again, flounder under the immense pressure, but in the end, it took the amazing composure and pluckiness of 21 year old Feng Tian Wei to finally seal the victory for Singapore.

I wonder if the spectators at the Olympic table tennis stadium knew how much this medal means to the nation. I'm sure that most of the spectators are from countries who have had plenty of other medals won before... And for the Koreans, it just means that they have one less Gold or Silver to add to their multi-medal collection. But to the country of Singapore, it means EVERYTHING. The kind of euphoria felt after winning at least a Silver seems to be so much more than the euphoria some feel after winning a Gold. I mean, a Singaporean athlete has to win just a single gold to get a million dollars, whereas Micheal Phelps has to win 8 gold medals to get his own million... The numbers are seriously off. Its kind of funny really, and sort of shows how desperate we are to have something to show the world that we are really serious in becoming a sporting nation. Nonetheless, they finally did it. We can stop emphasizing the fact that we had only won an Olympic medal once before.

Let's hope that this is the start of many more future Olympic medals to come. =)

you and me

2008-08-12T20:21:00.002+08:00

我和你, You and Me - Liu Han, Sarah Brightman
我和你，心連心，同住地球村，
為夢想，千里行，相會在北京。
來吧！朋友，伸出你的手，
我和你，心連心，永遠一家人。
You and me
From one world
We are family
Travel dream
A thousand miles Meeting in Beijing
Come together
Put your hand in mine
You and me
From one world
We are family

來吧！朋友，伸出你的手
You and me
From one world
We are family
______________________________________________________

I want to enjoy the Olympics, but my end-of-posting-test isn't letting me enjoy it.
BOO HOO.

the more we get together, the happier we'll be

2008-08-10T00:38:00.002+08:00

The 2008 Beijing Olympics are here!

I'm damn excited about it! I've just spent the whole of the last day or so camped with my books in front of the television, watching event after event. Starhub has an amazing coverage of the games, with a total of 6 different free channels just dedicated to showcasing different types of sporting disciplines that are being held at the same time, and with such an extensive coverage, its hard not to be distracted by all the amazing sporting action. Which is not good because I really should be studying for my up and coming end-of-posting-test... and doing the loads of reading up that I have to do for Internal Medicine. But the Olympics comes once every four years and it'll be awful to miss it.

I must say that the Opening ceremony was spectacular! I was watching it with my parents and we all agreed that China has outdone itself. I never thought that they had the technology and capabilities to pull off such a fantastic show because it had all the elements of a high tech visual wonder that it didn't resemble any of the previous old-fashioned, highly unpolished presentations of old time China. In fact, after watching the Opening ceremony of the Games, I found it excruciatingly painful to sit through this year's National Day Parade. Our NDP looked like some school production compared to the amazing ceremony put up by the Chinese. Quite sad considering that we've been doing this for 43 years now and we should be experts in putting on such big and fanciful shows. But oh well. I suppose China has the numbers to put on a more stunning performance. I hope the opening ceremony of the Youth Olympics would be something of better caliber than NDP though...

I wish I didn't have school. Then I'll stay home for the next two weeks and watch the Olympics all day! But the games sure are looking good and so far, China looks like its doing a good job hosting it. Which is quite a surprise really, but I hope they keep it up to prove the massive hordes of detractors wrong.

Oh and on a totally random note, this is my 300th post on this blog address!

happiness is a random thing

2008-08-05T23:23:00.003+08:00

In view of recent hardships and horrible times, I have decided to compile a short list of stuff that actually make me happy, so as to remind myself that pain and hardship is transient, and despite the fact that I'm perpetually tired and busy, I am still capable of encountering stuff that makes me happy. Its all part of the plan; the plan to get my life and mindset all crazily positive again. This new found enthusiasm to get my life back on the optimistic fast track was sparked by the Sodagreen concert: its as if I've found some fresh injection of botox into my dying life.

So here goes, my 10-random-things-that-currently-make-me-happy list:

1. Famous Amos Cookies: My mom bought a bag of them and a couple of famous Amos cookies everyday never fails to brighten up my day!

2. Listening to music on my Ipod: Music is really essential for me to function normally. In particular, Sodagreen's music! I always feel happier if I start my day listening to a couple of their fast numbers.

3. Watching '康熙来了': An hour of my day is usually spent watching the latest episode of '康熙'. Its only an hour, but it brings in much needed laughter!

4. Sleeping in the car: I need every chance I get to pay my massive sleep debt, and sleeping in the car allows me to pass time and catch up on much needed sleep.

5. Meeting up with friends who aren't in medicine: They remind me that I do have a semi-functioning life outside of medicine!

6. Sleeping in on Sundays: The only day where I can sleep in. Again, its important that I recover from that stupid sleep debt. And its the only day where my mom won't wake me up early (she tends to wake me up early on Saturdays because we have to make our way down to my Grandma's by the afternoon...)

7. Reading the latest chapter of 'Bleach' that is launched every Friday: something exciting to look forward to! And it always heralds a new week of speculation!

8. Staying up late on Fridays and Saturdays: extra long hours to do random stuff, be it play games, surf the net, study, draw, listen to music or just stone.

9. Bitching with friends from medicine: Still my favourite socializing past time. Haha.

10. A day in the hospital where I manage to do good clerking and do good PEs: such days are actually hard to come by. Then again, happiness comes when you don't expect too much as well. So yeah. I shan't expect too much!

Totally random. How amusing.

quiz thing

2008-08-03T20:10:00.003+08:00

Okay, I plan to carry out a slew of major updates on this blog of mine. Haha. I miss blogging on a daily basis, and the past few weeks of clinicals have indeed taken its toll of me. But events over the past week has made me realise that there's still so much more than clinicals and being irritated with the work, unhappiness and interpersonal politicking that comes along with it. So yeah, I will celebrate by blogging. Lots and lots of blogging. Woohoo!

To start things off, here's the list that Geraldine tagged me to do. Over three weeks late! WOW!

#1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
Seriously, this quiz is obviously written by a girl. HAHA. I will break off all contact with the person, break off all contact with her and vow to never see her again. And I speak from experience. HAHA.

#2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
To be a celebrity, preferably part of a rock band, tour the world and campaign for fair trade and the destruction of the USA. HAHA.
On a more practical note: to pass every single test that I take in medicine and to eventually become a good doctor in whatever I would eventually choose to specialise in.

#3. What will your dream wedding be like?
Honestly... somewhere in Europe. The solemnization should take place at some cliff over-looking some ocean or sea, with seagulls flying overhead. Guest list would include just my family, her family, and our most special friends.

#4. Are you confused as to what lies ahead of you?
Not exactly. I think I'm more confused with where I'm currently standing.

#5. What’s your ideal lover like?
Warm. Humorous. Generous. Giving. Independent. Smart. Hahaha...

#6. Which is more blessed? Loving someone or being loved by someone?
You know what, I think its being loved by someone. You can actually get hurt loving someone.

#7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Probably my whole lifetime.

#8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
I would first go into despair. Then try and sabotage the union. HAHA.
Nah, probably watch from afar, and wish them all the best. And wait til they break up and then I'll swoop down to comfort her and taaddddaaa! Problem solved.

#9. Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
DUH. And I'm not so stupid to write about it here!

#10. Is being tagged fun?
OF COURSE NOT.

#11. How do you see yourself in 10 years time?
Hopefully I'll still be alive then. HAHA. I dunno. Older, more mature, more responsible. Hopefully I'll still be a doctor then, and I would at least know what I'm doing and not just walking around like some idiot that deserves to be shot.

#12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
I guess family and those special friends.

#13. What kind of person do you think the one who tagged you is?
One of my bestest friends in the world. And someone I trust alot. And someone I hope will eventually fulfill her wish & dream because right now, I think she deserves to be in medicine more than I do.

#14. Would you rather be rich and single or married but poor?
RICH AND SINGLE. HAHA.

#15. What’s the first thing you do every morning?
Tell myself not to feel too angry with myself for choosing to be in this line. HAHA. Oh and reminding myself that I'm called 'Damian Yeo'.

#16. Would you give all in a relationship?
Maybe initially. But I must admit that I give up quite easily, especially when I sense that its a lost cause. I'm probably going to be one of the first few people who jumps off a sinking ship.

#17. If you fall in love with 2 people simultaneously, who would you pick?
THIS WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN.

#18. What type of friends do you like?
Friends who accept me for who I am and don't attempt to control or influence my life. People who don't show me an attitude. Oh and friends who I can learn something from just by spending time with them.

#19. What type of friends do you dislike?
People who have no backbone, people who are needy and exceedingly sticky, people who don't think for themselves and refuse to face their problems and keep harping on the same problems all the time.

#20. If you have to choose between love and friendship, what would it be?
Right now, its friendship. I haven't evolved to the stage where I have enough guts to choose love over friendship.

"请让我在你身边一起纪念这一天"

2008-08-02T23:59:00.002+08:00

这天 - 苏打绿
够深刻了吗来躺下吧
让我轻抚你安慰伤害我后的疲累
够尖锐了吗看我的疤
用温柔包覆勇敢给喘息的你笑脸
生命从来不觉得自己对谁该负责任
太多虚伪情节的表面模糊陌生的眼

请让我在你身边一起穿越这条街
请让我在你身边一起纪念

够痛快了吗我知道啊
躲在你利刃之内骄傲的自卑作祟
够鲜艳了吗血染的花
被你刺满的双手此刻擦乾你眼泪
生命从来不觉得自己对谁该负责任
我们看了编造的谎言就如此轻易
将彼此划成碎片
太多虚伪情节的表面模糊陌生的眼

请让我在你身边一起穿越这条街
请让我在你身边一起纪念这一天

总有一天我们都死去
丢掉名字的回忆再没有意义
总有一天我们都忘记
曾为了一个越演越烂的故事伤心
总有一天我们都叹息
笑着缅怀有过的愚蠢的美丽
就让现在过去

让我握你的手让你握我的手
彻底了解颤抖你会知道我
让我握你的手让你握我的手
彻底了解颤抖你会知道我
让我握你的手你会知道我

让我在你身边一起穿越这条街
请让我在你身边一起纪念这一天
透过我的眼泪看你的脸
自由是我们需要的特权
你笑了我笑了笑了这一天

____________________________

I went to watch Sodagreen's concert with juniors Xinhui and Yinghong at the Max Pavilion on Saturday! At $150 each, the tickets we had were the most expensive for the night. Its the first time I had ever spent so much on a concert, but nonetheless, it was worthed every cent. I know most music lovers would have chosen to spend their money on tickets to Sing Fest instead, but I'm glad I didn't go squeeze for a place there. Watching Sodagreen was a treat. It was as good as their first ever concert here, which was last year I believe. I went for it as well and I remember being blown away by them then, because of how amazing they sound 'live' and also how friendly and sincere they were! This time round, they were back with a bigger line up, an additional year of experience, and it really showed that in their music and their stage presence. But if you strip away all the fancy pancy stage effects, what matters is still their solid singing and their down-to-earth friendliness.

What I like about them is their unique sound, which is always slightly quirky and not too conventional. It helps that their lead singer Qingfeng has such a high and distinct voice. I love the way that they handle all genres of music, how they can emote with slow, heart wrenching emotional songs and how they can send the crowd wild with their high octane fast numbers. It gives their music a very interesting touch, making them feel bubbly, with a background element of class to them.

Another thing about them is their sincerity. I love the way they do encores. They don't just perform a piece or two of pre-decided, pre-rehearsed songs, they open the floor to the audience for requests and try to their utmost best to give the audience as much as they. And they try to elongate the session by having utterly hilarious conversations with the audience and also bantering among themselves. Very funny.

I enjoyed myself alot at the concert. It was a good breather from the harsh reality of clinical life and a good chance to go to somewhere where absolutely no one from medicine would go, and just let loose. A night of solid music, hilarious entertainment, a night to forget the troubles and worries haunting me, to just immerse myself in the wonderful world of music.

A night I would never forget. Til the next time they perform here! Sodagreen pops!

evil bubbles beneath

2008-07-30T17:03:00.002+08:00

Evil bubbles beneath every individual. Its just a matter of time before it is unleashed.
Did you know that you had just come into contact with some of the most dangerous individuals of all time?

I doubt you did.

Just watch as evil bubbles beneath.

he is set in stone

2008-07-25T23:12:00.003+08:00

Its times like these that I wish he were still alive to tell me not to give in. Not to give in, not to give in, not to give in.

Looking at the photos that Geraldine and Gladys posted up on their blogs have made me immensely jealous of the fact that they had a great time in Australia while I was languishing somewhere in SGH. I miss being abroad with friends. Its just not the same with family... because there's so much less spontaneous interaction with family than friends. I dunno. I feel very very much demoralized and irritated with alot of things that I can't tell people about. Its very sickening.

I was reading at Geraldine's blog when I suddenly had this sudden desire to meet up with GAG again and just have a day or even night out where I can just say anything under the sun and even slam medicine. I miss the nonsensical conversations with them... stuff that don't make sense, stuff that may make sense, and stuff that make me feel more grounded. I feel guilty that I don't meet up with them that often, that my schedule's really impossible and I hardly even go online now to chat with them...But yet, I really miss talking to them. Because conversations with them gives me a chance to be who I really am - and allow me to blabber nonstop.

I am going to SGH tomorrow. Sigh.

'why so serious?'

2008-07-17T23:30:00.003+08:00

2 epic movies. If you don't catch either of them, you deserve to die!

I watched the movie '赤壁' with my family last night. It was a last minute thing, because I was really affected by whatever happened last night and desperately needed to do something completely unrelated to medicine and also desperate for a reason to get out of the house. I pitched the idea of watching the movie with my brother, who, being who he is, managed to get my parents to watch it with us as well. So the four of us went down to AMK hub, bought tickets for the earliest show possible (10.20 pm) and watched the movie. Thank god for the reason to stop thinking about stuff though.

'赤壁' is quite a good movie. I feel quite sad that I'm typing this review about it right after watching 'The Dark Knight' because, well, the latter is infinitely better so I don't think what I am going to type about the former right now is going to do justice to it either. While it isn't as perfect as 'The Dark Knight', '赤壁' is still a pretty good movie. It does have a few weakness, such as its overly long pacing, its many convoluted plots and subplots, and some really weird editing, but it soars in terms of its cinematography, its complexity, its breath taking battle scenes and its solid ensemble cast. The show boasts some of the finest stars in Asia, all of them playing characters who are legendary figures in Chinese literature. Tony Leung, Takeshi Kaneshiro, Chang Chen all of them were all pretty good in their respective roles. I was particularly surprised by Takeshi's ability to pull off his rather hippie portrayal of Zhuge Liang, I must say that its a very different take on the character and he makes him more eccentric and debonair than traditional portrayals of him. The movie is bloody, violent and epic in its making, but the ending really is a kill joy as it ends abruptly, forcing you to wake up to the reality that the conclusion of the whole story is only going to be shown on screen in January next year when the second part is released then.

While it is a fantastic show on its own right, '赤壁' cannot compare to the masterpiece that is 'The Dark Knight'.

This is arguably one of the best movies ever, and definitely the best sequel ever. One of the reasons why I found it so enjoyable was the fact that it is one of the darkest films in a long long time. Dark, sinister and psychotic, but all in an artful and intelligent way. The story was engaging, the pacing was exhilarating, the action jaw dropping and the acting... unbelievable. The cast of 'The Dark Knight' is one of the strongest ensemble cast ever and I'm so glad they replaced Katie Holmes as Rachel Dawes. The cast is just... genius. Every single actor portrayed their character so realistically and stunningly human. Cristian Bale is once again superbly stoic and tormented as Batman; Michael Cain is endearing as Alfred; Morgan Freeman is all wise and witty as Lucius Fox; Maggie Gyllenhaal is so much stronger as Rachel; Gary Oldman is perfectly subtle as Commissioner Gordon and Aaron Eckhart superbly righteous then angsty as Harvey Dent/Two-face.

But the best praises and accolades should really be left for the late Heath Ledger who would surely be propel into the realms of legends with his amazing performance as the Joker. I found it very sad to watch the last scene with him in it... there was this scene where after the Batman managed to finally apprehend the Joker, the psychotic clown said something along the lines that the two of them would probably continue to battle each other for all eternity. It was a very ironic and haunting think to hear that line because we all know the reality of things and that this Joker will never be able to appear in any other Batman movie ever. There will never be a villain like Heath Ledger's Joker. He has brought the bar to an even higher level.

I'm sure we have all read reports on how great and amazing his performance was, how terrifying and sadistic and psychotic it was, and of course, all those talk about a posthumous Oscar. But you really have to watch it to witness first hand the genius of a performance the man had put it because no words can describe how he did it. He was terrifying, he was sadistic, he was psychotic, yes... he was all that, but he did it in a way that wasn't over the top. He did it in a way that was entirely realistic, and it made it startling clear that such crazy, evil, and monstrous men could really exist. There may one day be someone as maniacal as his Joker who would walk the streets of any great city in the world, terrifying and terrorizing the people into submission. Once again, this just strengthens my theory, that its so much more fun to be the villain than to be the hero. Which is the morality of the film really... how strong a person are you and how long can you keep your convictions without ever falling to the dark side?

"You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

Heath Ledger's performance is reason enough to warrant a re-watch of this movie. Its going to be the last full performance that he will ever give and its a real pity because you really want to see this iconic take of an iconic character live on in feature sequels to come, but of course, that simply can't happen anymore. There are reports that its going to be difficult for Christopher Nolan to ever top this film with a third film in the event that he wants to create a trilogy, and I agree with those reports. Whoever the new villain is, the actor has amazingly big shoes to fill. He or she would be trying to live up to a performance that would continue to terrify the hearts and inspire the minds of many in the long years to come.

its way too soon to say...

2008-07-16T20:37:00.004+08:00

My first ever patient-death.

Its a horrible feeling.

I dunno what else to say. I need to vanish from this place for awhile...

I told myself not to think about it. But you know what they say about the stages of grief. There's denial, then anger, and finally acceptance.

To discover that a patient that you have gotten to know so well, so much so that you develop a kind of friendship or bond with him, had passed on is just... indescribable. No words can express the cacophony of emotions I felt when his wife told me that he didn't make it. I dunno whether I was more angry at myself for not even knowing that he had passed, or that I was had just made his wife sad again. I feel like I'm really quite useless a person, let alone a doctor. I don't see how I can ever become a competent one. Seriously.

Its only week 4 and I'm beginning to feel that everything I do is caustic to patients... that I exist only to bring more harm to them.
I think I must be the only medical student to ever start feeling this way just 4 weeks into clinicals. My physical examination skills are more cumbersome than smooth, there are amazing lapses in my knowledge... I'll probably end up as some screwed up doctor who does more harm than good to his patients.
Seriously. I must be the first ever student to feel this way just 4 weeks into clinicals. I'm probably the first ever student to face the issue of patient death just 4 weeks into clinicals as well.

I know we are supposed to get used to it, because we'll see lots of death in this line of work. I know we are supposed to learn how to not let such events affect us. But its just way too soon for me to be facing such issues. Way too soon. I was caught off guard, and it really is an unpleasant, horrible feeling.

its been a while...

2008-07-13T23:24:00.005+08:00

I just found out that lectures start at 11:00 am tomorrow. Hence I decided to not catch up with much needed sleep and risk a little facet of my sanity by staying up to blog.

I just got back from Kheng Wee's 21st birthday party... the thing about 21st birthday parties, is that its always more fun to be a guest than to be the host of the party itself. You don't really get to enjoy your own party, because it always ends up to be a logistics nightmare. Plus, you have so many guests to entertain that you often find yourself hard pressed for time to even get to talk to all of them. But when you are a guest, you have all the right in the world to engage in crazy merry making. You don't have to care if its awkward or not, just go ahead and party your life away!

I enjoyed myself at Kheng Wee's party today, because I got to see so many members of 71 today, especially the people from overseas! Ailin and Huilin were both there! Haven't seen the two of them in ages, and I must say it always feels great to be able to talk to the two of them. Both of them are very sensible, and always have a calming and positive effect on my rather erratic thought processes and moods. I must say very few of my friends have that kind of an effect on me... hmmm. But yes, the Econs S people owe me a birthday celebration! Econs S should just meet up for a celebratory dinner for all the birthdays that we had missed! Hope I have time to squeeze out of my busy schedule...

I was complaining to Ailin about how I sometimes feel so demoralized at the end of every single day because of the sheer exhaustion of clinical work. Its strange because I really really enjoy clinical work. When I'm in the hospital, I don't feel tired, or demoralized at all, mainly due to the fact that I hate to waste my time in the hospital complaining about the workload or how tired I am. I really do feel my best in the hospital, but its the lecture sessions and the nights at home that are truly the worst aspect of the whole business of clinicals. I was telling her how I sometimes feel that I've entered an industry that seems to lack in appreciation. I must say that she said some stuff that really made me feel much better about my current situation and that she reminded me that its all a game of perseverance! And she's right: I think we do need friends who aren't from medicine to remind us about such stuff. At the end of the day, its all about reminding ourselves that our lives aren't just about medicine and that there's something more than just books, patients and procedures.

I am supposed to do something that Geraldine tagged me to do, but I'm feeling lazy right now... We'll see if I have the time for it in the upcoming week. My entries are becoming more and more sporadic and mundane... but I guess I'm just not getting the level of inspiration that I used to have.

当黑夜清晰过白昼

2008-07-10T20:57:00.000+08:00

"飘着" - 孙燕姿
空气中
呼吸都凝着
我让思考放空
看你转身上楼
我知道
这就是答案了
还能怎么感受
那残余的温柔

当黑夜清晰过白昼
当快乐赔上了所有
当理智熬不过放纵
你的神色什么都淡了
我还守着爱飘着

你回头
就像往常笑着
好像在原谅我
绑住你的自由

当黑夜清晰过白昼
当快乐赔上了所有
当理智熬不过放纵
我的神色什么都算了
却还守着爱飘着

错在明知是错
快乐该怎么选择
我爱错
我只能选择沉默
不该嘶吼

当盲目的黑夜清晰过白昼
当奢侈的快乐赔上了所有
当假装的理智熬不过放纵
每个路口怎么转都错
我进退不得谁救我

飞不进你梦中偷一点感受
飞不回原来我冰冷的躯壳
就这样漂浮着悲伤的穿梭
感觉掏空灵魂不在了
爱情突然失重
在飘着

where thou art thy hallowed grounds?

2008-07-07T21:14:00.003+08:00

Just a quick update here before my blog ends up in a garbage dump full of rotten vegetables due to the lack of updates...

I was waiting for my mum to pick me up from school today when I decided to go walk round the pseudo museum located in MD11. I was looking at the different plaques hung on the wall, the plaques that listed the names of the different generations of Deans and Department heads when I remembered that I did the exact same thing almost 4 years ago, on that fateful day when I first made up my fickle mind to get into a med school and be a doctor.

I remember feeling so awe-inspired by the columns of names that hung from the walls of the room. I don't really know what it was, but there was this sense of wanting to be part of this illustrious cause and glorious legacy, to be part of an institution or fraternity that had produced countless and countless generations of other talents before me, to be part of a long line of successors to a profession that severely tested the depths of human compassion and patience.

That was me when I was in JC1, 4 freaking long years ago. I didn't even dare imagine that I would one day be in Medical School. But then, I made the cut 2 years later... and before I even knew it, I was playing my way through M1, crawling my way through M2... and now, I'm here at the start of M3, in my long sleeve shirt and trousers, waiting to go home and recuperate before I start another day in the hospitals trying to develop a system of learning that would better train me to become a better doctor. I suddenly realise that its really not all fun and games, which is ironic because I've always known that it was never going to be all fun and games, just that I never thought the situation would develop that quickly into the situation that it is today.

And as I stood there looking at those names hung up on the wall, I suddenly realised that I no longer had that same kind of awe that I used to have when I looked up to see those great names staring back at me. Its a sad thing to realise that those hallowed grounds that you once cherished have ceased to be the same place that it once was.

Its strange to note that I'm having all these sudden thoughts just when the new batch of freshmen have started to embark on their first foray into Medicine. Anyway, time to continue with my written report. Sigh.

silver haired beauties

2008-06-30T22:04:00.003+08:00

Okay, I decided to post this picture because of the little nice old lady who took me for pathology tutorial today. She totally reminded me of the other little nice old lady in the picture, whom I met in Europe. She was our tour guide around the Roman Ruins in Rome and I totally went gaga over her (the rest can testify to that!) Our tutor today, whom I think is Prof. Ivy Seah, was just like her, so nice and knowledgeable. Joanne and I were totally blown away by her amazing grandmotherly-ness!

I've got to admit that I've this rather strange liking of grandmothers. I wouldn't call it a fetish (eek!) but I think its a sort of gravitation towards having a matriarchal figure in life. I love my own grandmothers, and one of my many regrets in life is that I wasn't closer to my paternal grandmother before she passed away almost 9 years ago. But right now, I'm glad that I'm quite close to my maternal grandmother and that she's relatively healthy and happy. Granted that she has diabetes which is a chronic condition that's notoriously hard to control, but hey, at least she's relatively ambulatory.

I think grandmother figures are just amazing. There's something startling beautiful about them, the way they carry the weight of their experiences on their shoulders, their greyish-white hair being sort of a badge of honour, the way their smiles always reveal wisdom, benevolence and maternal warmth. I find it absurd that my female peers are so adverse to aging these days: I mean, growing old doesn't necessarily mean that you lose your beauty and the best years of your prime, in fact, growing old can be a beautiful thing, and when you find the right balance to age gracefully, you'll become someone so beautiful that even those anorexic super models can't even compare with.

I hope I meet Prof. Ivy Seah again. Sigh. Grannies all around the world rock!

i've nothing interesting to add...

2008-06-28T13:54:00.003+08:00

Its been a long time since the last entry and so much interesting things have gone by. School's back in and the work load's starting to build up. Yup, its only week 1 and we have a rough sketch of the amount of work we have to do for the term and its not very smile inducing. Haha.

I think I have lots of things to say here, but somehow or another, I'm not really processing them right now. My thoughts are a little bit of here and a little bit of there and its not really very coherently planned out or mapped out. I am not sad, angry, or depressed at anything, but then again, life isn't particularly great either. I guess the life that I'm living right now is one that's just ordinary: ordinarily hectic and ordinarily bland, so much so that I don't really have any particularly strong feelings about the way things are. Perhaps an absence of strong feelings is a sign that all's well and life is good. Or maybe its just a sign that I've grown tired of feeling unhappy and complaining of the way life progresses.

So enough of my thoughts and feelings. Let's talk about Sports. Euro '08 finals is gonna feature Germany and Spain. I am personally supporting Spain because I've seen a couple of their matches and all I can say is that the way they are playing right now is just phenomenal. Germany is a good team and I do know of a couple of friends who are supporting them, but this time round, I'm putting my support behind Spain. They've played well throughout the tournament and deserves the title. Let's hope they pull it off with a final victory on Sunday.

Next up, Wimbledon. Lots of the top seeds are being kicked out of the tournament man. In the men's draw, we have Djokovic, Davydenko, David Ferrer, Andy Roddick (just to name a few) who have been kicked out of the tournament. In the women's draw, we have Ivanovic and Sharapova who are now out of the tournament as well. Its a pity Nadal didn't get kicked out as well, but oh well, the tournament's sure getting exciting because lots of big names are falling out and it looks like the tournament's becoming anybody's game right now. Sure makes things interesting to watch.

I've suddenly ran out of things to say. I think I'll stop here right now. Going off to Jinrong's high tea 21st celebration soon anyway, so yeah. I'll just stop here.

"know your name, and go your own way"

2008-06-23T23:47:00.003+08:00

Get this widget

Track details

eSnips Social DNA

Details in the Fabric - Jason Mraz feat. James Morrison
"Calm down
Deep breaths
And get yourself dressed instead
Of running around
And pulling all your threads and
Breaking yourself up

If it's a broken part, replace it
But, if it's a broken arm then brace it
If it's a broken heart then face it

And hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your own name
And go your own way

And everything will be fine
Everything will be fine

Hang on
Help is on the way
Stay strong
I'm doing everything

Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way
Hold your own
Know your name
And go your own way

And everything, everything will be fine
Everything

Are the details in the fabric
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling?

Are the things that make you blow
Hell, no reason, go on and scream
If you're shocked it's just the fault
Of faulty manufacturing.

Yeah everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Everything

Hold your own
And know your name
And go your own way

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic
Are your thoughts results of static cling? (Go your own way)

Are the details in the fabric (Hold your own, know your name)
Are the things that make you panic (Go your own way)
Is it Mother Nature's sewing machine?

Are the things that make you blow (Hold your own, know your name)
Hell no reason go on and scream
If you’re shocked it's just the fault (Go your own way)
Of faulty manufacturing

Everything will be fine
Everything in no time at all
Hearts will hold"
_____________________________________

Another fantastic song from the album 'We Sing. We Dance. We Steal Things.'
I love the line that goes 'Hold your own/And know you name/And go your own way/And everything will be fine'! Mraz writes some of the most introspective and clever lyrics.

And in case you didn't know, today's my first day of school. Yup, school's in for me and I'll be reporting to SGH at 0830 tomorrow. Damn shagged today due to the insomnia that struck last night. I'm definitely going to bed now and hopefully I'll knock off immediately when my head hits the pillow. I don't want my first day in SGH to be one that I won't enjoy, so I had better get some quality sleep. Yup. Enough said. Nights!

"a carnival of idiots on show"

2008-06-20T00:01:00.002+08:00

This viral video of Coldplay's "Violet Hill" is both seriously eerie and seriously cool. There's something about seeing a couple of dead people dancing about that makes it so god damn unnerving.

Anyway, Coldplay's latest studio release, 'Viva La Vida (Death And All His Friends)' was released a couple of days ago. I only got my copy today. But I must say I'm loving this album even more than I did for 'X&Y'. I think it has to do with the whole morbidity of the album: its so dark. I feel like its a tribute to death and destruction or something, which is ironic because the title of the album is Spanish for 'Live the Life'.

As a whole, 'Viva La Vida' has a feel that's quite different from the other 3 previous releases, not that Coldplay's music had ever steered clear from being melancholic or emotional, but I dunno, the songs on this album are especially morose. Not that I mind the whole depressed-antiwar theme, god knows that I could deal with hell lots of morbidity right now.

Songs that I'm currently digging include 'Life in Technicolor', which is a purely instrumental piece that totally rocks and really soars. 'Cemeteries Of London', 'Viva La Vida', 'Violet Hill' and 'Death And All His Friends' are other songs that I really like as well.

Its amazing that despite listening to a fair amount of material from different artistes and accumulating, what I must proudly identify to be a rather diverse and eclectic taste and sensitivity to music, there's just something about Coldplay's music that still sends shivers down my spine. I don't know if its the tendency of the music to generate a sensational haunting vibe, or Chris Martin's out of this world falsetto, or the way their chords seem to clash in a complicated, layered symphony. Its a mix of being unabashedly vulnerable and confusingly complex, and its a mix that always works for me.

It has so far been a totally musical week for me. I think I overdid it on the buying of albums but I have approximately 6 new albums to go through. I dunno, but there has been a sudden influx of great albums recently and this has increased my urge to devour music. Its like a life force you know, without which, I would just wither away and melt into a pool of highly saturated fats and carbohydrates. (No protein because I have absolutely zero muscle content.)

Where are death and all my friends?

anyone else but you

2008-06-19T00:24:00.007+08:00

Anyone Else But You - Mouldy Peaches (or Michael Cera & Ellen Page)
You're a part time lover and a full time friend
The monkey on your back is the latest trend
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

I'll kiss you on the brain in the shadow of the train
I'll kiss you all starry eyed my body swingin' from side to side
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Here is the church and here is the steeple
We sure are cute for two ugly people
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Pebbles forgive me, the trees forgive me
So why can't you forgive me
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

I will find my niche in your car
With my MP3, DVD, rumble pack guitar
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Up up down down left right left right B A start
Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

You are always tryin' to keep it real
I'm in love with how you feel
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

We both have shiny happy fits of rage
You want more fans, I want more stage
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Don Quixote was a steel driving man
My name is Adam I'm your biggest fan
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you

Squinched up your face and did a dance
Shook a little turd out of the bottom of your pants
I don't see what anyone can see in anyone else...but you
But you

Du du du du du du dudu
Du du du du du du dudu
I don't see what anyone can see, in anyone else
But you
_______________________________________________

From the movie "Juno".
If only my life were as quirky. Sigh.

back from the habour that's supposedly fragrant

2008-06-17T12:33:00.007+08:00

10 things I learnt about Hong Kong
1. Hong Kongers are some of the fastest walkers in the world. They walk so quickly and close to each other that falling down or tripping is simply not an option, lest you desire to die under the footfalls of thousands of relentless Hong Kong feet.

2. Hong Kongers do not like it if you enter a restaurant/cafe and do not order anything to eat/drink. In fact, they can charge you 10 HK dollars for just simply sitting in the cafe without tasting any of their wares.

3. Filipino maids are really rich in Hong Kong, so much so that they are more well to do than a large number of locals and can afford to flock department stores and engage in orgasmic shopping sprees every weekend.

4. Chicken flu, SARS, Red tide. Is there any wonder why Hong Kong seems to get afflicted with all these unfortunate health problems? Not really, considering that it really is one of the dirtiest of wealthy cities in the world.

5. Where are all the pretty, sexy ladies in Hong Kong?!? There seems to be a severe lack in pretty females here. The guys on the other hand love to dress up: they end up becomeing trendier and prettier than the girls themselves. So S'pore ladies, go to Hong Kong to get your trendy/pretty/hot boytoy.

6. Its public transport system is much much better than Singapore's. In fact, we've been copying a thing or two from the Hong Kong system (HK had EZ-link way earlier than we did). The most sensible thing they did: more lines, each with less stations and multiple connectivities - which ultimately resulted in a system that's highly connective and has less waiting times.

7. Food, glorious food! The food here is still, and probably will always be, fantastic. I have never eaten that many bowls of Wanton noodles in my whole 21 years of existence. A wanton Wanton lover indeed.

8. With the HK dollar being much weaker than the S'pore dollar, things that are seemingly expensive in Hong Kong are actually freaking darn cheap. For example: a 10 course gourmet Chinese dinner that would easily cost around S$1000 only costs HK$560, which is roughly S$100. What would we do without the wonders of Foreign exchange.

9. Hong Kong is a city of extreme unhealthiness. Smokers and drinkers are everywhere. The food here is unabashedly filled with oil, fat and sugar. The people here live astonishingly stressful and fast paced lives. Which probably makes a lot of you future doctors out there very very worried (or happy, depending on which side of morality you are on.)

10. Hong Kongers can appear to be very very unfriendly, but really, deep down inside, they are pretty nice people. Its just that they don't show their nice sides to people they aren't familiar with. Oh and the way they blabber non stop in Cantonese serves to intimidate too.

Well, this trip's the second time that I've been to Hong Kong and back. I remember going there when I was 8 or 9 and I absolutely hated it because it was so dirty and old and grimy, and since then, I've been resisting any effort on my mom's part to get me to revisit that city. But I decided it was time to revisit the city again. I guess I was hoping that the city would have undergone a miraculous change and thus, my opinions of it could be completely reworked. Well, its certainly gotten more modern, more claustrophobic and slightly cleaner, but it has NOT changed a big deal at all. Its still that grimy, squeezy, overly sardine packed city that it was 13 years ago. I mean, I have nothing against cities and I'm definitely a city goer, but Hong Kong's really just too much. (Its the MOST packed of all the many cities that I've been to.) So I'm going all out here and say that I'll probably not visit the city again anytime soon, not unless one of my friends living there volunteers to be a guide and provide me with free lodging and food. Muahahaha.

"so i'm sailing through the sea, to an island where we'll meet"

2008-06-10T01:09:00.003+08:00

Lucky - Jason Mraz, Colbie Caillat

"Do you hear me? I'm talking to you
Across the water across the deep blue ocean
Under the open sky oh my, baby I'm trying
Boy I hear you in my dreams
I hear your whisper across the sea
I keep you with me in my heart
You make it easier when life gets hard

They don't know how long it takes
Waiting for a love like this
Every time we say goodbye
I wish we had one more kiss
I wait for you I promise you, I will

And so I'm sailing through the sea
To an island where we'll meet
You'll hear the music, fill the air
I put a flower in your hair
And though the breeze is through trees and
Move so pretty you're all I see
Let the world keep spinning round
You hold me right here right now

I'm lucky I'm in love with my best friend
Lucky to have been where I have been
Lucky to be coming home again
I'm lucky we're in love every way
Lucky to have stayed where we have stayed
Lucky to be coming home someday" - 'Lucky', Jason Mraz feat. Colbie Cailat
_____________________________________

Nice song from Jason Mraz's latest album.
I love the album's name! (We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things)

This song's been on the loop in my mind and over the ipod. Can't get it out of my head. I think the lyrics are very amusing. It has a breezy, comfortable feel to it. Perfect for lazing around in the afternoons.

I'm leaving for Hong Kong on Wednesday! Gonna escape Singapore for a few days. I'll be back on the 16th, to enjoy the last week of my holidays and catch up on some spiritual alignments. Yup.

je t'amie paris!

2008-06-08T14:17:00.006+08:00

So the annual French Open at Roland Garros has reached its final leg, with the Woman's singles finals being played last night. Of course, we all know that Ana Ivanovic won this year's French Open. Well, this year seems to be the year of the rising Serb super stars, with Novak Djokovic winning the Australian Open and Ivanovic now winning the French Open. What is up with the air in Serbia? Something must be in the air and water there for producing tennis stars.

I didn't watch the Women's finals last night because of the fact that Justine Henin isn't playing in it, so as a mark of respect to my favourite female tennis player, I decided to boycott the match! (Haha!) As we all know, Justine retired from the professional Tennis circuit just 3 weeks ago, prior to the actual commencement of the 2008 French Open. This was quite a shocking piece of news for me, because I am a fan of Justine Henin. In case you guys don't know, she shares the SAME BIRTHDAY as me. (Gosh, I'm really proud of that fact!) But anyway, I love Justine Henin's feisty attitude and fierceness on the court. Sure she doesn't have the grace of Ivanovic or the class of Sharapova, but I still think that her steady-as-a-rock approach to tennis is still the more solid way to go in tennis. She will be sorely missed and I think it'll take some time for me to find a new idol in female tennis.

Tonight, Roger Federer will take on Rafael Nadal. Sigh. As much as I adore Federer, Nadal is THE giant to beat on Clay. Roland Garros is his realm. Just like how Federer rules Wimbledon, Nadal rules Roland Garros. And Federer hasn't had a good start to the year, his fitness isn't as good as he once was, his age seem to be catching up with him, and he no longer seems to be the invincible machine that he once terrorized the tennis world. I think it'll be a tough match and Nadal will ultimately come up tops. If Federer manages to beat Nadal, then by god, it will be a wonderful miracle. Maybe I'll watch the match and hope for a miracle to occur. (It'll be more entertaining that Euro '08 anyway!)

Update @ 2325hr:
Alas! It was not to be!
When will Roger Federer ever win the French Open? Sigh.

Federer didn't play well at all. I think the Infectious Mononucleosis that he suffered early in the year really got him good. I hope he regains his form man, I mean, he still has his skills and all, but he has to get his fitness up or else it would be quite likely that he wouldn't win any Grand Slams this year and could even lose his world number one spot to Nadal. (And honestly, that would be DISASTROUS!)

On the other hand, Nadal is horrible to beat on Clay. I think Clay suits his playing style, which is to dig deep and hit back hard. He really is like a solid wall that won't budge. I have no idea how to actually defeat him. He is not an easy opponent to beat on clay and Federer had better improve if he wants to ever beat him at Roland Garros. And if he doesn't improve, Nadal could even win him in Wimbledon, which again, would be extremely disastrous! I just hope Djokovic kills off Nadal someday, and maybe Federer will have an easier time winning in the Grand Slams (that is of course, assuming Federer is still fit enough to beat Djokovic!)

Nonetheless, Federer's still number one, and he is still my favourite tennis star. A defeat today does not mean a defeat tomorrow. Let's hope he picks up from here and gets the Federer express back on track to winning those Grand Slams and destroying those records!

in defence of 康熙

2008-06-08T00:37:00.005+08:00

I was watching the latest episode of "康熙来了" on the youtube when I chanced upon a whole barrage of comments that really irked me. Basically, fans of 陈汉典 (who is the assistant host on the show) were writing tons of disparaging comments regarding the way the two hosts (蔡康永 & 小s) were treating him. They seem to think that the two hosts were ill treating him and that they didn't like him and were thus doing it on purpose. Eventually, they started to criticize the two hosts instead, saying awful things about them that were mostly untrue. (Some of the more 'spirited' commentators even suggested that 陈汉典 was the only funny aspect of the show and that the show would suck without him!) Most of the flack seemed to be aimed at 小s, which got me really really pissed because many of you would know that I absolutely adore her. She is one the funniest and unique hosts out there and her no-host-barred, in-your-face brand of humour is the reason why so many people enjoy watching the show in the first place.

I personally enjoy watching "康熙来了" because of the unique chemistry between 蔡康永 & 小s. I think that the only reason why the show works is because of this unique chemistry: their incessant bickering among themselves, their witty remarks targeted at not only their guests but also each other, their tag team approach of asking the most awkward questions. The show started out with just the two of them and they succeeded in making a name for themselves through this amazing chemistry. Indeed, many of the best episodes are made even before 陈汉典 was even added to the whole equation. To even suggest that 陈汉典 is the reason why people should watch the show is just blatant rubbish, because honestly, the show made its name without him and it'll do just fine without him as well. I honestly think that the show would collapse if either of the two hosts, 蔡康永 & 小s, were excluded, a fact that was proven when 小s went on maternity leave, not once, but twice over the course of the show's 4 year run so far. The episodes without her are some of the most dull ever.

I am not a fan of 陈汉典, but I don't dislike him either. I appreciate him for bringing some amount of humour to the show, but I don't think he is such a great addition to the show either. The show's watchability DOES NOT lie on his shoulders. His job is to be cannon fodder for the two hosts, a target for their acerbic wit and jibes. It is his job to be poked at, to be made fun at, to even be the target of their insults. I hate it when people just get all passionate about this and start jumping up to his defense and keep saying that he isn't respected and he isn't well taken care of in the show and that the two hosts are jealous of him and are thus mistreating him by making fun of him and insulting him all the time. If anything, what 蔡康永 & 小s are doing to him is far from mistreating him, in fact, they are literally helping him, giving him multiple chances to perform.

EVERY SINGLE JIBE AT HIM IS A CHANCE FOR HIM TO PERFORM. And its not as if the two hosts really hate him or something. I think 蔡康永 & 小s really like him, and the only reason why they are willing to let him wander around the show and do stupid things on it is that they actually see some talent in him and are willing to take him under their wing and allow him to develop some of those talents. Besides, all the insults and jibes are just part of the show, or as the Taiwanese would call it, 电视效果. They are just there to make the show more entertaining, to give each episode more humour and selling points. So seriously, its not real. Its just SHOWBIZ, and there's absolutely no need to read too much into it.

And seriously, 陈汉典 is funny, but he is not that funny. Some of his jokes are quite stale and most of the times, he just repeats his gags over and over again. His imitations are funny yes, but sometimes, he justs overdoes it and then it gets irritating and annoying. I get really irritated when people go on about him like he is some king of TV or some amazing talent and that he should be venerated or something, and that he can seemingly do no wrong. It somehow feels like 陈汉典 is always perfect and if they don't like something about the episode, it has to be 蔡康永's or 小s's fault.

I love "康熙来了". I especially love the two hosts. But I hate the way people seem to forget all the wonderful work they have both put in over the past 4 years to make the show a runaway success, and then stand on some new upstart's side to criticize them. If you don't like them, then stop complaining and don't watch the show, because let's face it, the show is called "康熙来了", and not "汉典来了". It's their show and it's they who put the humour and spirit into it.

indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull

2008-06-05T22:10:00.002+08:00

I've finally caught this film! Yes yes, I know I'm slow, but when this film was just released, school was still in and I had no mood to watch movies at all. Now that the holidays are here, it seems that I've been indulging in film after film. But seriously, I wanted to catch the 4th Indiana Jones movie and I'm glad I made the trip down today to go watch it. I've got to admit that the best thing that AMK hub has given me is a good, clean, new theatre that's close to home, unlike the dirty old creepy theatre at Sun plaza which I swear gives me the jitters.

Indiana Jones was an entertaining joyride of a movie. It was action packed of course, and there were loads of humour in it, though I guess only fans will be able to some of the humour present because it has lots of in-jokes from the first 3 films. I love the way they incorporated bits and pieces of the previous films in this movie! Like the Lost Ark in the warehouse, which was the titular artifact of the first ever Indiana Jones film! And the presence of Sean Connery as Jones' dad picture, which we all now, was a major character in the 3rd film. And Indy's fear of snakes, how he named himself after his dog (now mirrored by how Mutt names himself 'Mutt') etc. It was a subtle way of acknowledging the legend of the first four films and making the old fans happy. Plus it gives the movie a sense of continuity, which would otherwise have been lost seeing as to how the last Indiana Jones movie was made almost over 2 decades ago.

The acting was good. It had a good all rounded cast: Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones, Cate Blanchett as KGB bitch Irina Spalko, Karen Allen as Marion Ravenwood (who by the way, was Indy's girlfriend all the way back in the first film) and Shia Lebeouf as Mutt Williams, Indy's new sidekick. I especially liked the way Cate Blanchett acted as Irina, who was as feisty as any KGB bitch can be! I must say she looks utterly adorable when she runs; she looks like she is trying to incorporate ballet or something, just hilarious!

The movie had a nice feel to it as well. I think the way the colours were muted and slightly tainted was an extremely nice touch on Spielberg's part. It gave the film a dated look and feel and made it seem all the more nostalgic, perfect when you are dealing with a come back film that's set in the not so recent past. Apart from that, the tainting of the colours also gave the film a more dreamy quality, and made it feel like it was out of this world, which is so true, because the stuff you are seeing in the movie is really something you would probably never encounter in your real life. And the special effects were also great. Everything was really really convincing and realistic, especially those nasty ants! Wow they give me the creeps man!

The only thing that I have to gripe about is the ending of the film, which unfortunately, made me wonder roll my eyes countless times. It was as if I was watching something out of Starwars instead of Indiana Jones. Seriously. I hate such endings... because I'm very skeptical about such things happening. I know it may or may not be true, but still, until conclusive proof of such paranormal activities are found, I still think movies shouldn't attempt to conclude stories in such a way, UNLESS your story is a sci-fi story in the first place! I'm sorry, but personally, I don't see how History and Science Fiction can be mixed in the same concoction.

Indiana Jones 4 made me wish I hadn't been born in stuffy old Singapore but in England or America instead, then I wouldn't have to worry about becoming an archaeologist and not be able to earn a living. Sigh.

prince caspian

2008-06-04T22:59:00.004+08:00

Fantasy has always been an important part of my inner world. I think its important to maintain a large part of your imaginative psyche, so that there's always some place that you can escape to when you are momentarily sick with the real world. Its not too good to live in fantasies, but every now and then, escape into your fantasies is always a welcome respite from the monotony of everyday life.

The Chronicles of Narnia is another historic, well loved fantasy epic that has been in existence for a long long time. Its well loved by many, and after the run away success of The Lord of the Rings movies, Hollywood came knocking on Narnia's door as well. The first film, 'The Lion, the Witch & the Wardrobe' tells the story of what is arguably the most famous volume of the Narnian Chronicles. This year, its direct sequel, 'Prince Caspian' finally makes it to be big screen, 3 years after the original movie graced movie screens around the world.

'Prince Caspian' is an improved version of the first movie. Its darker, more action packed, more smooth, more professional, less kiddish a movie. The four actors acting as the Penvensie children have grown up and honestly, their acting chops have also improved by leaps and bounds. I must say that the girl (Georgie Henley) who acts as Lucy has improved so much that she no longer looks like she has a mental defect, which was how she appeared to me throughout the original movie. The rest have matured quite well into their respective roles as well, and I especially like the fact that they felt different from how they were in the previous film. There's also a new addition to the young cast, but I felt though, that the guy acting as Prince Caspian, Ben Barnes, churned out a performance that was satisfactory, but extremely bland. His portrayal of Prince Caspian pales in comparison to the Penvensie children, and he really isn't as suave as I picture Caspian to be.

One thing I noticed in this film is the lack of amazing emotional gravitas and solid acting present in the first film, which was provided by Tilda Swinton who played the White Witch then. I miss her! I really do! The few minutes where she appeared in her brief cameo featured what was perhaps the best piece of acting in the whole movie. Tilda Swinton is an amazing actress, and her ability to bring amazing characters to life is similar to the chameleon like abilities of another amazing actress, Cate Blanchett. And I also miss Aslan. Liam Neeson provides Aslan with a voice that has amazing gravitas as well, and you really feel like he is literally portraying a character that has so much kingly charisma. When Aslan appears in the last few scenes of the movie, it feels like something magical has happened and it really invigorates the whole movie. The few scenes with Aslan and the White Witch are some of my favourites, and also some of the best in this movie, mainly because they have a sense of solidness that the young actors just don't have.

The special effects and costumes and creatures are still as amazing and fantastical as ever. The battle scenes, while nowhere as epic of those in The Lord of the Rings, are still enough to make a little boy drool and wish he was a Lord of Narnia and actually there to chop off a couple of Telmarine heads. The storyline is a classic story of growing up, a classic coming-of-age tale, of learning responsibility, of learning how to be a good leader, of learning the importance of faith. Watch it if you enjoy fantasy, because this film will achieve what all fantasy films should achieve, which is to transport you far away from reality.

Just that little break from reality needed.

i'm 21~!

2008-06-01T15:19:00.005+08:00

Hoho, I can't believe I'm now 21 years of age!

Strictly speaking, I only turned 21 around 3 hours ago, because I'm a noon baby. But anyway, I woke up this morning realizing that I survived a chaotic party last night to be officially 21. There's not much difference really, being 20 and 21, but its still a good feeling knowing that I can now vote in the next elections. I have very little photos with me right now, and strangely, they are all rather, erm, badly taken, so I'll wait for the nicer photos to come to me before I post any up here.

I would like to thank all my wonderful friends who came down last night to attend that rather chaotic, messy and boring party of mine. And all the wonderful well-wishes and presents. This person is quite touched. And to all my other friends who couldn't make it but still sent me well wishes and stuff, thank you so much as well! I hope to meet you all soon yah!

I am currently enjoying the new surround sound provided by my new set of Creative speakers. Now that I don't have to listen to earphones 24/7 while using the computer, I'm sure that my hearing will improve!

I'll sign off now because I want to enjoy the remainder of my birthday slacking away!

Update @ 2355:
Argh, just came back from HCCO's biennial concert and I am super duper pissed with a Zhong Ruan junior of mine who stood up halfway through a song and walked across the stage just to get the spare instrument, and then blatantly traced his steps back across the stage to his seat. I mean, COME ON, use your bloody brain. Even if the strings of your instrument has snapped halfway through a song, you do not do the unthinkable and stand up to change your instrument; you act like a bloody professional and just sit through the song, playing what you can with the remaining of your bloody strings. Bloody block head. Standing up halfway through a song while the rest of the orchestra is still playing is bloody unprofessional. It is the kind of action that I would expect of an imbecile, not some student from Hwa Chong. Argh. HORRENDOUS.

I CANNOT BELIEVE that I gave up free tickets to Angela Zhang's concert for a concert that was riddled with disappointment. I may be 21, but I still make stupid choices.

Sigh. So much for being a person with good character. Grrrr.

its the holidays!

2008-05-31T00:13:00.004+08:00

In a blink of an eye, a 7 week course has come and gone. Yup. The Clinical Skills Foundation Course is finally over. I guess we are supposed to come out of it feeling like we are indeed on the right path of becoming a good doctor, but unfortunately, today's OSCE assessment made me realise that I'm far from being a competent doctor, let alone a good one. Yup. I'm now feeling like I just came out of a tiring 7 weeks without learning anything at all.

Nonetheless, its the official end of M2, and the start of M3 beckons in just 3 weeks time. M2 has been a blur. All I remember about it was loads of tests and mugging, loads of inter-personal traumas, loads of tiring days and nights trying to settle things that shouldn't and didn't actually need settling. Life could have been better, but now that I've lived through one of the worse years in Medical school, I feel like life, has been splendidly okay. But then again, if you ask me if I feel more prepared to be a doctor after two years in medicine, I'll tell you that 'no, I do not feel more prepared to be a doctor.' I'm still in a total haze about what is right and wrong, what is expected and not expected of us, what is happening and what is not. Its still a long long way before any of us become someone confident enough to stand out there and BE a doctor. Its still a long way indeed.

Today was spent rotting outside. We watched a beautiful movie called 'Accuracy of Death', starring Takeshi Kaneshiro, in which he was a Shinigami tasked with the job of judging if a person gets to die now or not. It is a brilliant movie about the importance of life and death and makes you think about what the important things in life are. What is your purpose, and have you achieved it? I think its something we should all ponder before death comes to claim us.

And Takeshi Kaneshiro is really bloody delectable. I have no idea why the OG girls prefer Takuya Kimura over him. I think Takeshi is the Asian version of Johnny Depp, and he acts with a kind of nonchalance and flamboyance. He was surprisingly good in this film as the rather innocent and naive Shinigami, who has a strong liking for music and a complete misunderstanding about humans. He was funny when it mattered, and delightful morose when the occasion calls for some serious emo-ing. All in all, he acted really well and it was a marvelous performance.

It was a good movie, the first movie I've watched in ages. My kind of movie because it was thought provoking and rather deep. All in all, definitely a movie I'll recommend, but I suggest you don't watch it if you can't stand slow movies.

After that, it was long time spent slacking around, eating and just chatting. Its been ages since I had a good chat with anyone, let alone so many different people from the OG. I think we had a great time together, exploring so many interesting topics. The greatest surprise of the day was Darryl, who turned out to be a love guru of sorts. Highly, highly shocking. I think we got so high from the chatting that we sort of lost track of the time because we only left Junction 8 at 2330. But still, it was a good day well spent.

Tomorrow's the big day. I'm feeling slightly sianified over all the stuff I have to do and slightly pissed with myself for taking on this undertaking, seeing as to how I hate administrative stuff, but oh well. I have to just suck it up and just live through it and try to be happy about it. Afterall, tomorrow's supposed to be my day.

And yes, the conclusion I got from today is that I may have gotten so used to being single that I don't really want to look for a relationship anymore, and I'm so glad that I'm not the only one who feels this way. Yeah.

Quote of the day: 'What do you think about death?'

prior commitments

2008-05-28T11:02:00.002+08:00

In the season 2 finale of 'Brothers & Sisters', we witness a Gay wedding, a kiss between two ex-siblings and the revelation that while the Walkers do not have a half-sister, they might have a half-brother instead!

I think 'Brothers & Sisters' works because of its solid cast, and its incredibly funny family dynamics. I am however, quite sad that Rebecca is no longer a Walker. But I do like the fact that there are signs that the writers are going to work on a Justin/Rebecca relationship, because hell, these two are most certainly made for each other. Like Ross&Rachel, Derek&Meredith, Doug&Carole, Justin & Rebecca are on their way to become another of those fairy-tale couples on TV-dom. But I think they have great chemistry together, and really, by ruling out Rebecca as a non-Walker, it simply makes it all possible for them to be a real couple. They look good together, they have an amazing bond going on between them, it'll be a total waste of existing storyline if they do not get together.

And what's up with the existence of this Ryan guy, who could now end up as the youngest brother of the Walker clan? Its like the writers decided that Rebecca and Justin should really get together and laboured to remove the only obstacle preventing them from doing so: which is the ex-fact that they were half-siblings. And to remove this icky factor from the love equation, they just decided to introduce another guy that could be the real Walker half-sibling instead. Its like a endless cycle that becomes kinda old and stale after time. But then again, Rebecca and Justin are gonna get together so I suppose that more than makes up for the lack of realism in it.

In case you didn't know, I LOOOOOVVVEEE Rebecca! Emily Vancamp (the actress who plays Rebecca) is so stunningly beautiful, I fell in love with her when she was in 'Everwood'. SHE IS SO DARN BEAUTIFUL! Her long flowing hair, her amazing eyes, her cute nose, her startling smile! ARGH. But Justin's the funniest and most adorable guy of the Walker family clan and I heard rumours that Emily and Dave (the actor who plays Justin) are dating in real life, so I guess I'll live with them getting together.

Oh and yes, Kevin and Scotty got married. I can't stand Scotty, so needless to say, I think this is quite a sad point. Why did Kevin choose Scotty over Jason, I will never know. And Holly Harper is still the conniving bitch that she is, and now that she is the CEO/chairman of the newly merged Ohaj and Walker winery, we can foresee at least another season of business politicking and bitching. Let's hope she and Nora has another big food fight soon!

So here's the end of the American TV season. Here's to the return of the next season this fall! I can hardly wait!

come to a place where insanity is good

2008-05-25T21:14:00.007+08:00

I was thinking of something smart to blog about today when I realized that this week's gonna be the last week that I'll ever spend as a juvenile delinquent. Wow. Its kinda eerily quirky that my last week as a 20 year old coincides with my last week of the Clinical Skills Foundation Course. So with the start of M3, I'm going to approach my life as an adult: no more shirking of responsibilities and duties, and do do everything with the maturity of an adult. I will not be so immature and childish anymore.

My last week as a 20 year old. Let's hope it'll be a good one.

Today was spent at Xiaoyan's little get together. The irony of it all is that Xiaoyan's actual birthday falls on the 3rd of June, which is in fact just 2 days after MY VERY OWN actual birthday, so while I am older than her by two days, she gets to have her party BEFORE my own party, which is all so weird and quirky in a chaotic kind of way. Anyway, it was nice seeing some members of 71 that I have not seen in ages, people like Yihan, Sharleen Han, Charleen Soh, people from 71 whom I was considerably less close to (which is saying ALOT because I'm hardly not close with ANYONE in 71.) And it was fun seeing Xiaoyan again! Its always great to see your fellow Gemini and prankster, because when she's around, I can relax and cut back on the sarcastic jibes and nonsense. We can both share the workload when we are both around. Haha.

Let me pause to say that while I'm very proud of the fact that my brain seems to have no jurisdiction over the the confines of normality, the quirky things I do sometimes really annoys me. There are times when I wish my brain wasn't so unorthodox and that I could do things that normal people would do, like arrive at a party on time and not one hour before hand and find yourself horribly horrible alone, so much so that you decide to walk around to do away with the extra time and just stop yourself from feeling like a complete bodoh. But yeah, sometimes I do things that even I don't really understand. Its a curse that will never go away, as true insanity is really just true genius that is not understood.

I sincerely swear that I am up to nooooooo good.

Oh and seeing how we were able to create so much havoc today really makes me quite worried about the amount of chaos that 71 would bring to my own birthday party. Not that I mind the chaos, because a little bit of chaos here and there is really kinda, fun, and 71-chaos, is HELL LOTS of fun. But seriously, if the people present today could already create such a substantial amount of chaos (though, I have to admit that I do have a part to play in the chaos created), I shudder to think of the amount of madness they will create when a larger number of them appears during my party. Let's hope I managed to retain my sanity after the 31st, and ACTUALLY live to see my actual birthday.

I sincerely swear that they are all up to nooooooo good.

freedom

2008-05-23T21:05:00.006+08:00

Another season of 'Grey's Anatomy' has come and gone. This season ended with a bang and I must say I felt it was a more satisfying conclusion than the previous season finale, which we all know, was the infamous episode where silly old Burke left Cristina at the altar.

Season 4 of 'Grey's Anatomy' was NOT a great season, but it was a season rescued from the possibility of being the worst ever. It was a season that lost its way initially, but somehow or another, managed to find its way around the many loopholes and pitfalls it created. It was a season saved by a writers' strike, which ironically gave the writers the necessary vacation to help refresh their minds and thus ultimately salvage a season that featured lacklustre episodes. The post-strike episodes were some of the best from 'Grey's' in a long long time. However, the show still lacks something that it had in season 2, something that was momentarily restored when Addison came back for one episode then. I guess, the show now lacks a kind of easy going humour and class that Addison used to provide. She indeed, would be sorely missed. Sigh.

The two hour season finale entitled 'Freedom' was a great finale for several reasons.
Firstly, we finally see some of the characters attempting to fix their screwed up lives.
We see Bailey making the first step in the long compromise that is marriage, finally acknowledging that she has taken on too much than she can handle, and now, she is doing something to make it all manageable again.
We see the Chief going back to his wife. We see George acting like a man and asking the Chief for a second chance to do his intern test. We see Cristina standing up to Hahn, and in a really cool way to boot. We see Alex finally opening up to someone, finally showing a reason to be the screwed up guy that he is. We see Callie admitting that she has the hots for Hahn and even initiating a kiss with her.
And of course, Meredith. Meredith, Meredith, Meredith. Did I mention that I love Meredith? Finally, after four contorted seasons of hem-hawing, she finally makes a stand, she finally figures out her own life, she finally makes a move, she finally does something unbelievably sappy and silly, but the point is, she finally understands what is it that her mom really wanted and couldn't get and thus, what she really wants. Which is extraordinary love. SHE WANTS DEREK. And she gathers the courage to tell him, once again that SHE WANTS HIM. And they do make it back, because their romance, is, the stuff the legends are made of. And so Derek and Meredith are hopefully together, for good.

Another thing I loved about the finale was the fact that it featured two separate teenage couples, and thus two very different forms of young teenage love. We had the totally sweet couple who both had brain tumours and were both in for a radical new treatment method as part of a clinical trial, and the other rather unfortunate couple where the poor boy has to lie in cement to impress his bitch of a crush, and thus ended up almost dying due to his incredibly daft lapse of judgement.

Let's talk about the sweet brain tumour couple, who unfortunately failed to get their fairytale ending, because the boy dies during his surgery. I know its sad, because hey, these two just lost their virginities to each other a few hours before they would be parted forever, and they really were so unbelievably sweet and happy, you kinda hoped they would go on to have lots of hot sex and cute babies, but hey, as unrealistic as it sounds, TV can sometimes be like the real world, where people DO die in surgery and no one gets their friggin' happy ending! Then again, if you think about it, the boy's death actually lead indirectly to the girl's surgery being successful. If he didn't die, Mer and Der wouldn't have gotten the viral cocktail right and tumour-girl wouldn't have had a shot at living. So really, isn't that the sweetest thing a boy can give the girl he loves? Freedom. Yup, freedom. He gave her freedom. Freedom from the tumour, freedom from hemiparalysis, heck, he gave her freedom from death! So really, its quite a poetic end for this young couple.

Then there's the other couple, where the boy jumps into a pile of cement just to impress the girl who loves him but thinks its embarrassing to acknowledge that she really likes him. Okay, I must admit that while this was an interesting case (from a medical point of view), the whole storyline of a boy who jumps into cement to proof his love for a lover that's not even ready to acknowledge that they have such a connection just reeks of desperation and unfortunate idiocy. I'm surprised Bailey doesn't scold him for idiocy, instead, she establishes a bond with him and promises to get him out of that pile of rock alive, which is a very very Bailey thing to do. And who knew that Bailey loved Starwars like I do? Geeks rule man! Thank god the girl came to her senses, and finally acknowledge her feelings for the poor boy. But seriously, cement-boy's idea of a gift to bitch-girl cannot be compared in terms of value with tumour-boy's gift to tumour-girl. So boys out there trying to get girls, please consider exchanging your life so that the girl might live. I betcha that she'll always always remember you for the rest of her guilt-ridden life.

In summary, season 4's finale brings to a close many many past hauntings and also opens up many many new possibilities!
Will Callie and Erica become the first ever hot lesbian couple to sashay down the halls of Seattle Grace? Will Mark ever find love and will he be able to live out his hot threesome fantasies?
Will Izzie get back with Alex in his desperate time of need? Will Alex reveal more of his vulnerable nature?
Will Bailey fix everything in her overly hectic life?
Will George pass his second attempt at that intern test? And will Lexie do the unmistakable and try to seduce I-always-sleep-with-my-female-best-friends!-George?
Will Cristina ever get over Burke and become a good teacher to Lexie?
Will the Chief and Adele ever make their second chance at marriage work?
And will Derek and Meredith really get back together for good? Will they really build that house of theirs on that cliff side? And will look-at-me-I'm-a-horse!-Rose really leave the show? (I sincerely hope so!)
We can only wait til season 5 to find out.

In the mean time, enjoy your hard earned freedom.

it doesn't have to exist

2008-05-19T20:52:00.005+08:00

Today, while being surrounded by the most lavish of designer kitchenware, I came to a sudden realisation:

You can have the most lavish house in the country, the coolest car on earth, the largest paycheck across the planet, the most meaningful and successful career ever and the craziest bunch of friends in the whole universe...
And still feel like the loneliest loser that ever lived.

I think humans are too eager to be happy. Why can't we be completely unemotional and unfeeling, and just enjoy the emptiness of NOT feeling anything at all? I think that many of us, in an effort to be happy, seek out the company of others, the fun in activities, the intoxication of substances, but more often than not, we end up discovering that the high we so often sought for, isn't as great as we had hoped it to be. And than we come crashing down and desperately seeking to eat the humble pie and to lick our wounds.

I think to reach a state of nirvana is to accept the fact that you don't have to be happy all the time. Sometimes it takes so much bloody hard work to achieve happiness, its actually much easier and, ironically, happier to not try at all. Perhaps its just better to feel like... nothing at all. I'm not happy, I'm not sad; I've given up on being angry or depressed, I'm just feeling... nothing. Maybe that's the key to being... free! Yes. To be free.

Its a matter of finding and defining what it means to be happy. Very often, its all about finding a state that's neither here nor there: and being in limbo is strangely the state that brings you the most peace and contentment.

And its Vesak day, the perfect day to meditate and attain enlightenment.
What wonderful symmetry.

神秘嘉宾

2008-05-18T21:04:00.001+08:00

'神秘嘉宾' - 林宥嘉

Masterful Mendelssohn

2008-05-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

“Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t. In the face of all we can lose in a day, in an instant, wonder what the hell it is that makes us hold it together.” - Meredith Grey

Watched the 'Masterful Mendelssohn' concert by SSO today. My first ever SSO concert! I wouldn't even watch it if it wasn't for David, who suddenly called me on Wednesday asking if I wanted to watch it with him because he now had free tickets left over by her crazy sister (who wanted to mug for some GP TEST! PREPOSTEROUS!) Though highly suspicious as to why he didn't invite a girl with him instead, I was free anyway and decided that it'll be a nice, classy change to a Saturday evening that would otherwise be spent stoning at my grandma's again, so I took the arrow and flew along with it.

I've learnt from past experience that Symphony concerts can be... erm... sleep inducing. While I've never ever slept in a concert before (due to my incredible ability to let my mind wander when I am bored), I know that Symphony concerts are somewhat of a blind shot: if you are lucky and you attend one that features songs that you are familiar with, then you are probably in for a threat. But then again, if you end up in one with songs that you are completely unfamiliar with, you are entirely at the mercy of the orchestra's interpretation of the songs - you either get it, or you don't. So in what was an incredibly courageous move on my part, I decided to watch a concert which did not even feature a single song that I am familiar with. But what the heck, its always fun to take risks anyway.

Had dinner with David and later, the two of us met up with Woochiao who was, by a total stroke of good luck and coincidence, watching a Malay musical next door! I seriously wonder if Woochiao got anything out of it! He must have felt so strange to be the only Chinese member of the audience! Anyway, we had a nice time chatting and catching up before both our respective performances started. Boy, I missed dear old Woochiao and his wisecracks. I think the most important thing though was that David and I came up with conclusions that sigh, are unfortunately true.

I must say that David has good taste in music. He correctly predicted that the first half of the concert was going to be exciting, while the second half was something that we could just entirely skip. He was so bloody right. The first half of the concert had an amazing symphony by this composer called Prokofiev, who according to David, was this eccentric man who composed new aged styles in a classical way (whatever that means!) But the symphony was fantastic. It was exciting, exuberant, and very very eclectic! And then came Mendelssohn's Violin Concerto in E minor, which according to David, was sort of a basic piece that all violinist had to play. It was also a very nice piece, with extremely delightful melodies. I felt like the night wasn't a total waste after all!

Then came the second half of the concert, which featured a 38 minutes symphony by Sibelius. Oh my god, it was a horror to sit through. I nearly died. I kept myself occupied half the time by staring at the ceiling and imagining scenes of carnage and fear if a phantom ala the Phantom of the Opera was to appear in the middle of the concert and bring down the giant ceiling lights onto the audience. The symphony was just noise. I think we should have listened to David's suggestion and left during the intermission.

The last piece left me exhausted and caused me to crawl my way back home. After a quick shower and lots of other administrative work, I finally blogged this entry and went to bed. A wonderful night of class and culture well spent.

even manure doesn't taste this bad

2008-05-15T20:55:00.002+08:00

Today feels like shit.

Several reasons why today's a bad day:
1. I didn't accomplish my aim of performing a full respiratory and abdominal exam today.
2. I feel like I shouldn't interfere in the personal lives of friends, but then again, I interfered anyway.
3. I have a feeling that the Japan trip will most likely evaporate to dust.
4. My mom told me that the doctors in charge of my Great-Grandmother informed the family to 'be prepared for the worst'.
5. I am bloody exhausted from all the walking and talking and swallowing of frustration and anger.
6. I am very very troubled over my birthday party and extremely irritated with the whole business of people not giving me a clear cut answer as to whether they can attend it or not, oh and feeling guilty over not inviting whole groups of people when I only know a few people out of the group.
7. I miss some of my friends who are currently attached in other hospitals and others who are enjoying their holidays.
8. I feel like a bad person every single day.
9. I really think the quote 'I love mankind; its the people I hate.' really runs true.
10. I hate the ever changing weather. One moment thunderstorm, one moment sweltering heat. Argh.

The only reason to cheer: no tutorials tomorrow and a long weekend. Yeah. That's about it.

'and here we... go!'

2008-05-13T23:17:00.003+08:00

I think this movie is going to be fantastic. Batman in all its morbid and dark glory. But yes, that's exactly what I like about the whole Batman universe: the fact that everything's so dark and awfully depressing.

I think its very spooky to see Heath Ledger in the trailer. Knowing that he's no longer with us and yet, seeing him as the diabolical maniac that is the Joker makes everything seem so... eerily creepy. And by the looks of it, his final swan song could just be his greatest role yet. Its not easy reprising a role so splendidly portrayed by Jack Nicholson more that twenty years ago and while you can still catch a glimpse of Nicholson-inspired-Joker in the trailer, it appears that Ledger managed to play the master criminal in his own rather subtly deranged manner. Yes, that's the difference: Nicholson's Joker was so darn over the top; Ledger's Joker appears to be more sinister and subtle, not so exuberant but still incredibly creepy.

Like I always say, villains get all the fun.

king or kingmaker?

2008-05-11T21:15:00.004+08:00

Would you rather be the King, or the Kingmaker?

I was doing my share of research on Tokyo for the upcoming trip and I started reading about the Japanese Imperial Family and how their lives were controlled by the Imperial Household Agency. It must be real ironic, to be part of the Imperial family of the world's 2nd largest economy and yet, have absolutely no freedom at all; to have almost every aspect of their lives being subjected to the control and manipulation of a group of rather sinister people. Which got me thinking: would I rather be the King or the Kingmaker?

Now everyone knows what a King is. A King (or Queen) is the ruling monarch of a dynasty. He (or she) rules over a country, over a state, over a people; he (or she) lives in luxury, basks in the glow of lavishness, enjoys the fruits of his (or her) people's labour. The monarch has it all. So really, who on earth wouldn't die to be part of Royalty?

What then is a Kingmaker? Well, according to wikipedia, '"Kingmaker" is a term originally applied to the activities of Richard Neville, 16th Earl of Warwick during the Wars of the Roses in England. The term has come to be applied more generally to a person or group that has great influence in a royal or political succession, without being a viable candidate. Kingmakers may use political, monetary, religious, and/or military means to interfere in the succession.' So in short, Kingmakers are the evil eunuchs who bitch behind the monarch's back, or the pissy butlers who slip poison into the wines of princes they hate, or the two faced politicians who publicly support a prince but secretly offers to back the claims of another.

So who wields the real power? The King or the Kingmaker? Nevermind that most modern day monarchies have to teeth: they are just figure-heads, dependent on taxpayers' money for a living, dependent on present day politicians for a backbone, dependent on public sentiment and support for survival. In today's modern context, it pays to be the Kingmaker more than the King, because power no longer lies in the person who sits on the coveted throne, power lies in the shadow that holds the leash of the person who bears the crown. He who lurks in the shadow controls the light.

Then again, the concept of how real authority and power lies in not the King, but the shadow behind him might not be such a new concept after all. Throughout history, even in the good old days where monarchs had absolute power and could demand the decapitation of any single person without a reason, there have been numerous examples where people who are able to influence the thoughts of the monarch have come up tops in the ever ending race to maintain survival. Get in the good books of the present monarch, and you'll will have your own personal god-sent assassin to kill your rivals. Attaining the favour of the monarch is thus a one way ticket to riches and glory. The converse is also true, whereby offending the monarch is a one way ticket to losing your head and testicles. So being the Kingmaker like any form of investment, has its fair share of risks. The higher the risk, the greater the possible dividends and losses. Its all just a matter of whether you've backed the winning (or luckier) side really.

I think the perfect situation is to be the Kingmaker to a perfectly ineffectual King who cannot go against you, or to be a Kingmaker to a succession of Kings. Raise the Crown Prince to treat you as his rightful father, not the bloody useless man-whore who currently sits his fat arse on the throne! So when the time comes and the King starts to resist your malevolent control, you initiate a coup and install your lovely god-son to the throne, and tada! You have a new King that is loyal to you and a former King who is drowning in the lake behind the palace.

Then again, to be a King with absolute power and actually have the brains to use it, is much better to be than a Kingmaker. Alas, no one in history has been able to be become such a perfect King. We had our fair shares of successful Kingmakers, but not successful absolute monarchs.

If you push aside the whole literal meaning of Kings and Kingmakers, such concepts can also be applied to real life. Do you wish to be the King, the 'best', the top dog in whatever you are seeking to do, or to be the Kingmaker, the person who provides the solid foundation to your supremacy, the one without whom, all would not be possible. To be honest, I'll rather be the Kingmaker: the one person who who lacks sufficient resources or position to win at a given game, but possesses enough remaining resources to decide which of the remaining viable players will eventually win. Everyone would be dying to get my support, to get my endorsement, to be in my good books, so much so, I'll feel like a king as well. All the pampering, none of the stress of being King. Now that, is really what it is to be King.

Perhaps there is no difference between being the King or the Kingmaker. Perhaps to be the Kingmaker, is to be the King.

we all rush to lay the tracks

2008-05-10T12:25:00.004+08:00

I think its scary that time seems to be flitting pass too quickly.
And its even scarier when you realize that you have lots of things on your plate to settle before time catches up with you.

With just another 3 more weeks, we would come to the month of June and I will turn 21.
This heralds the end of CSFC and the start of M3, which means I have approximately 3 more weeks to get my history taking and physical examination skills up to scratch.
It also means that I have 3 more weeks to settle everything for my birthday party, which is another chore because, even up til now, the guest list isn't confirmed because there are still people who have not replied to my invites. And now, with the fact that I'm also going on a trip to Japan in June, I have to start planning and researching on what to see, where to go and what to do in the Land of the Rising Sun. So yeah, 3 weeks to do everything. Should be hell lots of fun.

Its the weekend! Time to try cramping in loads of reading.
Now for a shower and lunch, and then I shall attempt to do some reading before dinner tonight.

I wish I could be cryptic about some stuff, but I seem to have lost the ability to use my words subtly and properly. So I think I should just shut up and stop typing before I shoot myself in the foot or bite myself in the tongue. I think its a good thing I'm less emo these days, because I've sorta gotten over the fact that fatigue and exhaustion are just going to be loyal companions of mine for the rest of my dear life. And I swore to myself that I shall complain less and be more proactive. I can do this, I will steer the course of my own life with my own bare hands.

"There is no darkness but ignorance!" - Anon

because i was tagged

2008-05-05T23:39:00.004+08:00

Okay, I got tagged by Geraldine. Argh. So here goes.

How to Play
1. Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesn’t make sense. No cheating.
4. With the answers, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.
5. Tag 5 people.

How are you feeling today?
Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol
'Just close your eyes until, you can imagine this place, yeah, our secret space at will'
I actually like this song. I guess its a song about shutting your eyes and sinking into dreams and fantasies. Quite apt considering that I've been feeling this desire to escape reality throughout the course of the day.

Will you get far in life?
The Uruk Hai - Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers OST
Seriously. I dunno how to interpret this. I guess I will get as far in life as an Uruk Hai, which honestly, won't be very far because most of them got their heads chopped off by Aragorn or something.

How do your friends see you?
Untitled Hidden Track - Joss Stone
Hmmm. So my friends see me as something hidden? An enigma? Something untitled? Actually the song's rather depressing. Haha. Depressing mystery.

Will you get married?
Big Yellow Taxi - The Counting Crows
'Now don't it always seem to go, That you don't know what you got till it's gone. They paved paradise and put up a parking lot'
Oh my god, is that a NO???? I guess the song's telling me not to be so picky huh, and appreciate whatever is already given to me or something. Gosh, better not take things for granted man.

What is your best friend’s theme song?
Cosy in the Rocket - Psapp
Incidentally, this used to be the theme song for Grey's Anatomy. So the image I have in my mind is that of Meredith sleeping with Derek after a night of tequila. Which describes some of my bestest friends pretty aptly, if you get what I mean! =P

What is the story of your life?
High Speed - Coldplay
'We've been living life inside a bubble
We've been living life inside a bubble
Confidence in you
Is confidence in me
Is confidence in high speed'
JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT! Both the part about living inside a bubble and the whole high speed thing! Hyper speed, in there quickly and out in a jiffy. This either means my life will be SUPER faced pace (hint hint: life in the ER!) or I will die relatively young (hint hint: like next few years or something!).

What was high school like?
People Need Love - Abba
HAHA. OH yeah, all the desperate and horny TCHS boys being released upon the girls in HCJC. SO damn amusing! Quite apt actually. HAHA. =]

What’s in store for this weekend?
Tactics - The Yellow Monkey
Japanese song. Does this mean I am up for a weekend of heavy politicking? Argh. I hate politics. Makes me use my previous time that could be well spent on studying, reading or slacking. Bleah.

How’s your life going?
无尽的爱 - 刘明峰
Seriously? I must be well loved man. How come I'm not feeling the love right now! I feel like there are many invisible people standing between me and the goals I want to achieve right now, and many people are making me feel unloved. But then again, I also know that there are people who genuinely care about me and I guess I'm really blessed then.

How can you get ahead in life?
你的微笑 - FIR
I guess this means I should smile and use my wit to beg for favors more often? Then again, I really smile too little lah. Increasing the frequency of smiles on my face should make my life much much more easier.

What’s the best thing about your friends?
夜曲 - 周杰伦
Erh. Well, I guess they are nice like the song. Then again, this is one of my favorite Jay Chou songs and I absolutely love it for its ethereal and emo quality. Maybe that's the best thing about my friends - that we are a bunch that can emo together.

What song will they play at your funeral?
星空 - NYCO
HAHAHAHA. Perfect insult man. Of all the CO songs they could choose to play, they chose one played by NYCO! The irony of it ALL! Then again, this is a nice song to pass on peacefully. Very soothing and calm.

How does the world see you?
New York State of Mind - Joanna 王若琳
"I've seen all the movie stars in their fancy cars and their limousines,
Been high in the rockies under the evergreens,
But I know what I'm needing and I don't want to waste more time-
I'm in a New York state of mind."
I supposed this means I've achieved a Western version of Zen. But yes, its sounds like me. My kind of song actually.

Will you have a happy life?
Old Devil Moon - Jamie Cullum
"I looked at you and suddenly
Something in your eyes I see
Soon begins bewitching me
It's that old devil moon
That you stole from the sky
It's that old devil moon in your eyes"
I would think that that is a yes. In fact, I would be happily bewitched by some lovely girl! Wow!

Do people secretly lust after you?
我不难过 - 孙燕姿
Haha. I suppose that that is a NO. Haha. But yeah, 我不难过!

How can you make yourself happy?
Nobody's Fool - Avril Lavigne
WOW, this is damn accurate. Yes, I can make myself happy by being nobody's fool, and living a life of freedom! Woohoo!

What should you do with your life?
横颜 - Ken Hirai
Japanese song. Don't really know what the title actually means... I guess it means I should achieve some sort of balance in life or something!

Will you ever have children?
May It Be - Enya
This sounds like some sort of prayer, and it seems to be saying that I would have children. Argh.

What song would you strip to?
Jet Lag - Joss Stone
This is actually quite a good song to strip to actually. Very soulful.

What does your mum think of you?
Toss the Feathers - The Corrs
I think my mom thinks that I should be tossed out of the house, like the feathers. Haha.

What is your deep, dark secret?
Strawberry Sex - Ken Hirai
Oh my! Really! How embarrassing! *Blushes* Well, apparently, my deepest darkest secret is that I love engaging in Strawberry sex, but unfortunately, the last time I checked, my little brother dangling there hasn't had any fun of that sort at all. =(

What is your mortal enemy’s theme song?
Fly Away - 梁静茹
Sounds like a song that my mortal enemy would LOVE! =D

What’s your personality like?
Shepherd's Moon - Enya
A soothing song that flows. Just like me. I don't just move, I flow. And I'm a sheep, hence the link with shepherd!

What song will be played at your wedding?
Fall to Pieces - Avril Lavigne
"And I don't wanna fall to pieces
I just wanna sit and stare at you.
I don't wanna talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just wanna cry in front of you.
I don't wanna talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you."
For an Avril song, this is surprisingly apt for a wedding!!!

OMG, its freaking late and I have clinicals in the morning. I'm not tagging people! But then again, I had fun with this! I must say I missed doing such personality list things!

how to host a perfect dinner party

2008-05-04T01:26:00.005+08:00

Anthony's 21st dinner party was held at Au Petit Salut, a posh French restaurant in the Dempsey Hill area. As one of his JC classmates who was invited, I must say that I feel extremely honored and flattered: today was probably the first time I've ever attended such a posh and classy dinner party.

Here's some tips I picked up during the dinner on how to host a perfect dinner party:
1. Book a private function room.
2. Hire a private French chef and his assistant.
3. Have your own waiting staff.
4. Serve champagne. Lots and lots of it.
5. Serve finger food. Lots and lots of it.
6. Serve a 6 course meal of exquisite French cuisine.
7. Make sure one of your closest friends get drunk. (but make sure he doesn't puke at the dinner table!)
8. Invite some of your closest friends to engage in some fine dining!
9. Keep the atmosphere light and casual.
10. Be a gracious host.

All in all, Anthony's dinner party was a blast. The food was absolutely delicious, the atmosphere superb, the company priceless. It was fun dinning with some of the 71ians, as we struggled to hide our lack of etiquette and attempt to look civilized and cultured. But then again, 71 being 71, we ended up doing and saying utterly stupid and childish things. I dunno why we never seem to be able to grow up. We are all gradually turning 21 this year but it seems that we'll never be able to lose that child-like spirit of ours completely. Maybe its a good thing though because it makes our memories of the class so much more memorable.

can you hear me chuckling?

2008-05-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

Another week has come and gone, and we make our way into the month of May. Its amazing how fast time flies.

Today was a good day. School was unbelievably short, with a single 2 hour tutorial scheduled at 0830 and time to clerk patients after, I was out of school at around 12 for a lunch session with the whole of the CG at Vivocity. And then I was back home at around 3. The earliest I've been home in ages.

The latest episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' was brilliant. I like the fact that the episodes are of better quality now. I think the Writers' strike was in a sense a good development because it gave the writers time to think and map out the remaining story lines in a proper, tight, coherent manner, so the post strike episodes are so far so darn good.
This week's episode had a guest appearance by Addison, and I think all the fans would agree with me on this, that we really miss her and this week's episode just highlighted just how much more interesting and funny the show would be if she were still around.
Addison's cool. I like the way she has established relationships with quite a number of the characters, relationships that are unique: there's the whole Mer-Der-Addy love triangle, the Addy-Sloan flirtation, the Alex-Addy sexual tension, the Izzie-Addy student/mentor thing, Addy-Callie girl pals vibe, Chief-Addy father/daughter bond and Addy-Bailey mutual respect feeling.
It really was extremely intelligent of the writers to bring her back and capitalize on these relationships that Addison has with these other characters. Smooth move.

'Brothers & Sisters' was also good this week. I like the fact that the show has some of the best lines ever, even better than 'Grey's'. I mean, 'Grey's' has some seriously funny lines, but 'Brothers & Sisters' has like funny lines ALL OVER! The show doesn't have a single moment where I'm not impressed with the stuff the writers come up with. And the actors' delivery of the lines in 'Brothers' is just fantastic. They deliver it in a spitfire fashion that's so quick and smooth I'm amazed that its not all real. Solid acting by a solid cast.

Leaving the world of television behind, I am happy because other people are unlucky and ended up in their own private mess or nightmare. Okay, so I'm a mean mean person who builds his happiness on others' misfortune. But hey, its schadenfreude! Such things happen all the time, and we really just can't help it. At least I'm honest enough to admit it. Hehe.

Oh and I'll like to announce that there will be a drastic decrease in the quality & quantity of posts over the next few weeks (probably even years). As I start to get use to the regularity of clinical life, I'm getting less inspiration to blog. Heck, I don't even bother to proof read my entries anymore, so I'm not surprised if the entries these days are filled with grammatical and spelling errors! So I'll be very happy if I can squeeze out up to 3 entries of substantial quality per week. So really, don't waste too much time here. Not like you have been getting much from here before anyway!

welcome to beijing!

2008-04-28T21:45:00.009+08:00

No no no, its not the HORRIBLE song by Taiwanese boyband 5566, but a nicer song that features multiple artistes. I think its one of the songs in the running to be the official theme for the Beijing Olympics and its called "北京欢迎你".
I actually think its quite a nice song. It has a tune that's super easy to remember, (although it gets boring towards the end because the tune basically repeats itself for over 7 minutes), the fact that many of my favourite singers performed it makes me like the song even more.
I mean there's Yanzi, there's Leehom, there's Eason Chen, there's Karen Mok, there's Gigi Leong, there's Fanfan, there's JJ Lin... So many of my favourite artistes! I especially like Yanzi's part right at the beginning. Her voice has this quality that's quite enchanting and it makes me happy. Seriously. Seriously seriously happy.

ANYWAY. I know lots of my friends in Medicine hate China. But the fact is, I don't. I've always felt that I owe my life to 3 countries: Singapore, because obviously, I was born and raised here; The UK, because I've always been educated and inculcated with the good old traditional British values and morals that originated there, and lastly China, because that's where my ancestry lies and where all that rich ethnic culture remains.
I know China doesn't have a good track record and that well, she hasn't been the most perfect country to have ever existed, but then again, no country is perfect.
I know that China can appear a tab bit uncouth and irritating sometimes, but then again, you have gotta give them some credit and respect for being able to advance and develop at such a rate that's really incredible for their size. Sure Singapore managed to do it, but I assure you, its easier to develop a small island nation than a huge landmass like China.
Its not as if the Chinese don't have the capabilities to refine their act, its just that they have been so busy playing catch up with the rest of the world that they have had no time to inject the necessary refinement at all.
So the end product is this huge prospering nation, who has just began to embrace the wealth and power that capitalism and industrialization brings, but has absolutely no idea how to package and turn themselves into something more classy like the Europeans or trend setting like the Americans. And thus, we get the rather unrefined Chinese running around, irking everyone with their rather non polite ways.

I think its best that we give China time to develop into something that's more refined, more civilized. Give it time to open up, to liberate itself, to refine itself, to turn itself into a 1st class act. That's the only way China will grow and eventually 'get there.'

I am not here to support China and its supposed lack of human rights. I am not here to comment on whether Tibet should be free or not. I just think that such business is something that is entirely China's own business and should not be linked to the Olympics.
The Olympics should never have been dragged into this muddy quagmire of internation politics. Sure, we've seen previous incidents where the sanctity of the Olympic flame has been abused by political activists and players to further their respective goals. We've seen Hitler using his Berlin Olympics as an attempt to showcase Aryan supremacy. We've seen Soviet and US led boycotts in Games held during the Cold War. We've seen Islamic terrorists killing Israeli athletes during the Munich Olympics. So yeah, shouldn't it be time that we STOP using the Olympics as a tool for politics?

I think its very sad and disappointing, despicable even that activists all around the world have decided to raise the Tibetan issue now, just when China is about to do something that she is immensely proud of, something that she feels will make her part of the world.
Like what our PM said, the Beijing Olympics IS China's big coming out party. And we are spoiling it by making all these noises and squeaks and suggesting that nations boycott the Beijing Olympics. Why now? Why now when you know the Chinese government cannot do anything drastic to tarnish her image just as she prepares to host the biggest sporting event in the world, an event which preaches peace and tolerance and friendship among all nations?
And all that talk about boycotting, now that is a very foolish thing to do. If nations of the West DO boycott the Beijing Olympics, it'll achieve nothing but probably another generation of unhappiness and hatred between China and the World and when the Chinese finally overtake the USA as the world's superpower within the next 5 decades or so, we would all reap the punishment and hard life that we so obstinately sowed.

I've been waiting for the Beijing Olympics since 2002 when it was first announced that Beijing won the bid. I just pray, and hope, that it'll be a peaceful, trouble free, and spectacular one.

*Update*
OMG, there's an EVEN NICER SONG! Apparently, this is the official song for the Olympic torch relay! Its nice and has Yanzi and Leehom in it! Woot!

Sneeks to GA0413

2008-04-27T11:00:00.002+08:00

Callie: "Erh, anyone ever think you two are a couple?"
Meredith: "No because we screw boys like whores on tequilla.."
Cristina: "And then either try to marry them or drown ourselves."

And talk about AWKWARDNESS! Addison meets the 'HAPPY COUPLE'!

In short, Addison's back at Seattle Grace! For one episode only! Woo-hoo!

the pillars of medicine

2008-04-25T20:55:00.004+08:00

Thank god for the end of the writers' strike. Today, I spent the afternoon watching the first new episodes of the dramas 'Grey's Anatomy' and 'Brothers & Sisters' to be produced in months. And I've got to say, the producers of these series are back in a vengeance. The quality of this week's episodes are some of the best seen this season, especially so for 'Grey's'. This week's episode was just a right dose of humour and drama, and sorta correlates with what we, as medical students, are currently going through right now. I loved it.

"The 4 pillars of medicine are anatomy, physiology, pathology and the art of conning patients" - Anon

And speaking of what we are going through right now, the second week of CSFC has finally come to an end, and we end it off with the release of the results of our year 2 finals. So I'm officially a M3 student now! (Sigh!) I must admit I was very disillusioned with what I was doing when I was shadowing some big shot Orthopaedics surgeon in clinics yesterday. Just seeing the way he treats his patients made me feel like whatever we are doing now is of absolutely NO use at all.
All those stuff about communicating with the patient, of feeling empathy with patients, of treating them as respectable human beings, really seem like crap taught to us to ensure that the faculty gets its butt covered when members of the public complain about the crudeness of the doctors being produced by the local University.

I guess each and everyone of us medical students has to start thinking about what kind of doctor you want to end up being. What kind of doctor are you really determined to be? You see all those really good doctors in television programmes, who are compassionate, yet professional at the same time, and you keep telling yourself that you really want to end up like them. But the truth is, that kind of person only exists in television programmes. Doctors in the real world rarely come in that perfect sort of balance. They are either too professional, or too compassionate, with absolutely no in betweens.

Everyday in CSFC, I question the kind of doctor, the kind of person I want to be, because everyday in clinics, you see how other people act, you see how your mentors and tutors behave, you see how your peers and colleagues change, and you see the wide spectrum of patients present in society and its kinda hard not to be influenced and changed by all that you soak in.
There are times where I really want to try to be compassionate and nice to my patients, but there are also times where I tell myself that its much easier to be strictly professional and emotionless when dealing with them. To be involved or detached, where do you draw the line?

I met this nice little sweet old lady in the clinics. She was staying in my base ward and I regret not getting to know her earlier. I've been going back and forth to talk to her since Tuesday, and today, she got discharged. I was lucky to catch her while she was preparing to leave and coincidentally, I was leaving the hospital while she left it as well. She was a lovely patient, and the first in what is hopefully going to be a long list of favourite patients to come. I hope she'll keep her health at tip top condition, and I hope to never ever have to see her in the hospital again, but some part of me will miss her, and hopes to see her in a non hospital setting or something.

I have another three years to figure out what kind of doctor I want to be. Whatever it is, I hope not to be an overly lousy one.

its about time

2008-04-20T22:36:00.001+08:00

24th April. Woo-hoo!

1st week of clinicals

2008-04-19T22:39:00.002+08:00

So the first week of clinicals has come and gone. I think everyone has their own opinion of how good ,(or bad) it was. I think its infinitely better than the days in lecture halls, struggling to stay awake during boring lectures. But at the same time, its so much more challenging and tiring compared to the foundation years. First of all, we have much longer hours. Secondly, we no longer have the structured lessons and system of the past. And lastly, we no longer get to see all the friends and people that we used to be able to spend time with everyday.

The whole uncertainty that being in clinics bring is quite daunting. I suppose everyone feels kinda out of loop of what exactly we should do and how about we should be doing it. I mean, everyone knows we are in the wards to learn how to do the basics of taking a history and eventually, to learn how to do a basic physical exam. We know that we should be learning to talk to patients, to get over our initial fear of interacting with patients. So what do many of us try to do? Keep clerking patients. But then again, that isn't easy because it takes lots of luck to find a patient that is willing to entertain you, and also lots of guts to approach that patient in the first place.

So at the end of the day, everyone goes home exhausted and frustrated. Frustrated that we seem to be going absolutely nowhere with the clerking and history taking and the physical examination. But I guess, we can't rush such things and can't force us to make the transition from mugger to rugger in like 5 days? There's still lots of stuff to iron out really, and I guess we'll never actually ever give up trying and probably only achieve that total transition when we have gone on in like 10 years time to become some successful doctor in some hopefully good hospital or clinic.

Talking to patients is really tough. I realize that all the previous fantasies and images of me being a doctor with natural empathy and the ability to communicate with patients are absolutely rubbish. I sometimes don't know what to say to patients. Its so hard really to balance the feeling and the thinking, and to be honest, right now, I'm so busy thinking that I'm not capable of doing much feeling at all.

But then again, some patients just HAVE the ability to make you feel. Take the little old lady I met yesterday in the wards and the other old lady I met during NHS today. I can't talk about them here, but lets just say that I can't help but feel totally helpless and useless when I think about them. I think its going to the wards and the grassroots that makes you realize that there is very very little that Medicine alone can help achieve. Medicine without the Social and Political will to help results in half-hearted attempts to change people's lives really. So really, you can't change anything by being in Medicine, and if you are in this job to change lives, you shouldn't hope too much. But if you are in this to help in whatever way's possible, then yes, you're in for the right reasons.

time to stand up and grow up

2008-04-14T20:12:00.003+08:00

'Come grow old with me, for the best is yet to be..." - Robert Browning

So today marks the start of my clinical skills foundation course. To those few non-medical students friends of mine who still read this long forsaken blog, this means that I've finally started taking that big leap forward into the dark and twisty world of clinical medicine. The next 7 weeks will be an extensive (& long-drawn) orientation to the often confusing and exhausting life in the clinics. No doubt I'll probably have lots more to complain, moan and whine about in the upcoming years as I enter what is arguably the most important stage of my medical career, the sheer exhilaration of being involved in clinical work more than justifies the intense craziness that clinical life would bring.

With regards to my feelings about the clinical years, I must say that as of now, I am rather excited about the upcoming lessons. I know many of my peers expressed fear of the upcoming big transition into clinical life - they are all freaked out by the sheer amount of work to do, the amount of facts and skills to learn, the need to interact with patients, and the need to survive the politics of the hospital hierarchy. I strangely do not share much of their concerns at all, except maybe the politics part. But then again, my mind doesn't register things the way normal people would, so perhaps it isn't that strange for me not to feel any fear at all.

In the upcoming weeks, I would be involved in clerking patients, taking their histories and learning how to do basic physical examinations on patients. I would also start to learn the basics of various other clinical skills and procedures, such as venepuncture, intubations, catheterisations, intramuscular injections, intravenous drips etc. All I can say is that I'm ready for whatever comes my way; whether NUH and the patients are ready for me or not... now that's altogether a totally different question.

Anybody interested in allowing me to practice blood pressure taking (and various other clinical skills) on them should contact me ASAP via either SMS or emails. If you don't already have my contact information, then you really shouldn't even consider volunteering yourself for such potentially devastating torture. Hehe.

never over-eat again!

2008-04-11T23:02:00.004+08:00

I've learnt a very important lesson today, and that is that my stomach can NO longer stomach as much food as I was able to when I was a Secondary school/JC student. Never again will I force myself to eat so much stuff during buffets. I am still feeling extremely sick over the Dim Sum buffet I had for lunch today, so much so that I haven't had the guts to eat anything since then. Seriously. I shall swear of binging man. Its not worthed it!

I feel as if the food's still stuck in my oesophagus and that its unwilling to go down into my stomach. God I feel like a bomb just ready to blow.

Honestly, I rather have diarrhea.

REWRITE

2008-04-10T00:31:00.003+08:00

The 4th (and last) opening sequence for the "Full Metal Alchemist" anime series.

I miss the days spent watching FMA. I remember it was in J1 and I got the series from Debra and Sharleen, and strangely enough, we were the only ones crazy over it. I don't usually hang out with them in school, but we got quite close over anime and manga. Then again, I'm one of those people who appears to have been quite good at making friends with all the different cliques in the class, so yeah, how typical of me.

I remember having this SUPERB ability in predicting plotlines and I remember breaking Sharleen's attempts in teasing me about future episodes by saying totally random stuff about the storyline, e.g. 'I bet this character is actually this character's mother/father/child.' and laughing at her 'HOW DID YOU KNOW!?!??!?' face.
I even correctly guessed that the Homonculi in the anime were simply the failed human transmutations that developed further due to the aid of the Philosopher's stone, and that was like a major twist in the storyline. So really, things don't really surprise me unless they really are good twists!

Many thanks to Dory for lending me her FMA mangas! The mangas are so different from the anime that I'm a little confused right now. But despite the confusing differences in characters and occurrences, the story really sucks you in. Very entertaining and exciting.

"The world isn't perfect, and the law is incomplete. Equivalent Exchange doesn't encompass everything that goes on here. But I still choose to believe in its principle: that all things do come at a price. That there's an ebb, and a flow, a cycle. That the pain we went through did have a reward and that anyone who's determined and perseveres will get something of value in return, even if it's not what they expected." - Alphonse Elric

Very true indeed. And that my friends, is the principle of Equivalent Exchange.

hidden patriot in me rants

2008-04-06T01:41:00.005+08:00

I just have to get this off my chest.

Okay, so I was reading some online forum when I came across this entry about how Singapore looked like a nice and beautiful place to live in. I was feeling quite happy reading about the different wonderful things foreigners had to say about Singapore when I came across this entry: 'i live in singapore and i can tell you that there is nothing really beautiful about here.'
Reading that made me extremely angry. What got me angry was not that this Singaporean was lambasting Singapore (when foreigners were doing the exact opposite), but rather the way he was doing it - unsubstantiated, unbalanced, uncouth.

I mean, I'm not a patriot or anything and I also strongly feel that Singapore is not that perfect a place to live in, but come on, as Singaporeans, let's give this country some credit because while it isn't paradise, it isn't that bad a place to live in either.
I know that Singapore still has lots of room to evolve and develop into that perfect paradise (if it exists!) that so many of us aspire to live in and that yes, its still rather rigid, sterile and synthetic a place to grow up in, but the fact is, this country is still a beautiful one. I have done my fair bit of traveling around the world and to be honest, there are very few countries that feels like home the way Singapore feels.

I think we Singaporeans, especially the younger generation, really like to complain about life here in Singapore. We complain about this and that, on all sorts of matters ranging from media censorship to the lack of gay rights; from a lack of fun things to do to the lack of freedom of speech.
We tend to focus only on what Singapore lacks and not on what Singapore actually has, so much so that we are often oblivious and blind to the various benefits that we as Singaporeans do enjoy.
For example, we have beautiful parks to laze our afternoons away (just that NO ONE uses them!), we have a burgeoning arts scene that's steadily evolving and developing, we have many new exciting big events and developments coming to the country (F1, YOG, IRs), we have a developing and some would say, exciting nightlife.
Even if we want to comment of liberalizing society and the political system, we have to remember that we've come a long way compare to the times of our grandparents, and compared with our neighbours surrounding us, we aren't doing that bad in this aspect of development. Again, we tend to forget that liberalization takes time and even Western societies had to undergo hundreds, even centuries to achieve the kind of liberalization that they experience today, let alone us, a nation of ONLY 43 short years of nation building!
People just forget that our nation is a horribly young nation and keeps insisting that we do so much more than what we are probably able to achieve. Why not stop complaining, give it some slack and let it continue to grow and develop into something more natural and complete?

Perhaps it is us, young Singaporeans who don't really know what we are looking for. We keep saying that we want to live in a place with lots of opportunities, a place that's fun, exciting and vibrant, yet classy, with lots of culture etc.
We keep insisting on going overseas to enjoy 'the amazing life' there, as if everything that's Westernized or foreign is perfect.
But then again, I've heard many of my friends and relatives who have gone and studied/stayed abroad telling me that despite their experiences, Singapore is still the only place they feel truly at home. So when we are back in safe, friendly, comfortable Singapore, we feel bored, restricted, sterile. When we are abroad in exciting, fresh, challenging lands, we feel unprotected, lonely, lost.
So what exactly are we looking for? A land that's a mix of both? I highly doubt you'll find such a place in the living world.

I am certain that as our population becomes more and more liberal and educated, such debates on whether Singapore is truly that beautiful a place to live in will continue to persist. I have nothing against such debates, but they should be carried out in a mature, constructive manner that's balanced and not something that's so uncouth and so narrow minded.

I know that National Day's still a few months away, you never know when the hidden patriot in me wants desires to take over.

'dream of the ones who came before'

2008-04-04T23:48:00.006+08:00

I just came back from the wake of the man who brought me into this world.

Most of you would probably think that that's quite weird. I mean, how many of you out there are on speaking terms with the Doctor that delivered you those many years ago? Okay, I admit that I wasn't that close to him, but yes, I had met him and talked to him a couple of times and he offered me lots of valuable advice, not just on being a future doctor, but also on how to be a proper human being. So yeah, I knew him more that just being the Doctor who delivered me when I was a baby, I also knew him as a sort of mentor into this world.

The wake was filled with people - his family, his lifelong friends, his colleagues, heck I even saw Prof. Bay there! But the majority of people there where his patients and all of them, including my mom and two of my aunts, were genuinely upset at his sudden passing.
You could see that he was more than just a doctor to them; he was also a friend, and most importantly, a good man that they could trust. I think that impressed me the most, that he could become a doctor of such repute and outstanding character that his patients felt a deep connection and friendship with him. Here was a doctor who showed society how to really be a doctor. And to be honest, he achieved so much more.

Apparently, he was still seeing patients the morning he passed on. In fact, he was on his way to a meeting when he was struck by a massive heart attack, and in just ten minutes, despite the best efforts that the A&E department of the hospital could provide, he had moved on. Such is the unpredictable nature of life.

I still remember meeting him two years ago, when I just got the results of my University postings and was waiting to enter medical school. I was waiting for my mom to be done with her checkup when she suddenly asked me to come into the room because the Doctor wanted to speak to me. Feeling sorta nonplussed as to why an OB-GYN would want to speak to me, I went in thinking that I had did something wrong or something. All he did was to congratulate me on getting into Medical school, and giving me advice about the long road ahead, that 'Medicine is a tough line to get into, and you really need to persevere. But if you ask me, all the hard work is worthed it, especially when you see the smiles you managed to bring to people when you managed to help them.'
And in my mom's subsequent visits, he always never failed to asked about me and my progress in medical school, and also kept giving me advice and tips on how to handle the daily stress and challenges of the medical profession.

'To help others, you must first be healthy yourself! So do remember to exercise!'
This was the last advice I ever got from him before his untimely passing. I guess he knew I was a lazy boy. But then again, I stayed in my mother's womb for a total of 10 months - that's one more month than the normal gestation period, because apparently, I was lazy, even as a fetus, so yeah, he would have known. Plus, according to me mother, I was a memorable child because my mom's umbilical cord was constricted around my neck... so yeah, he had to do a cesarean to get me out.

It's very sad isn't it, that we can predict when a baby is due to enter the world but not when a person is due to leave it.

Thank you Sir, for bringing me into this world. I won't ever forget the advice you gave me, and I'll do my part in doing some good in this world.

liberation reflux

2008-04-02T10:05:00.002+08:00

And so liberation is finally here again.
After over 15 tests/exams, M2 has hopefully and finally come to an end. Yesterday's paper was a befitting finale to the horror of a year, where every single moment seemed to be spent on studying for back to back CAs. Time passed very quickly, but the sad thing is I seemed to have done and achieved nothing, except play this rapid catch-me-if-you-can game with lessons, its like you were rushing to lay down the tracks just before the train comes!

Microbiology pros was every bit the horror I envisioned it to be. It was long, troublesome and challenging. The challenge lay in remembering every single little detail that you had studied before, and reproducing them during the 3 hour slugfest. The questions weren't particularly difficult, but whether you had the answers to them, now that was an entirely different matter altogether.
There were times where I just couldn't think of anything to write at all, and ended up writing some laughable cock-and-bull story that hopefully had some level of truth in it. And I actually wrote that 'there was no possible cure at this moment for a toxoplasmosis infection' for one question, when it was obvious that there had to be one, but I just couldn't remember the stupid drug name used to treat it.

All in all, it was like ALL microbiology papers, rather depressing. Then again, its best to not think so much about it. Til the 10th, just like the majority of the cohort, I will be praying that I do not get the Vivas (and Subs!), and I can enjoy this short two week break before CSFC course starts and I can start out M3 with a fresh mindset and approach to life.

I must note though, that though liberation is here, it doesn't feel particularly joyful at all. The fact that we won't ever have long holidays makes it all the more tragic.

because...

2008-03-30T01:00:00.002+08:00

"因为" - 范玮琪
总在我家巷口和你分手
彷佛偶像剧一样
觉得我们就要发生些什么
总在回家时候不知所措
想再打电话给你
可是再见刚刚才说过

有一种想要拥抱你的冲动
想静静看着你的笑容
让你藏在怀中
直到我每天的尽头

因为想一个人而寂寞, 因为爱一个人而温柔
因为有一个梦而执着, 因为等一个人而折磨
因为想一个人而解脱, 因为爱一个人而宽容
因为有一个梦而放纵, 因为等一个人而漂泊

因为想一个人而寂寞
因为爱一个人而温柔
像夜的朦拢
你的深情难懂
我的世界因为你而不同

因为想一个人而解脱
因为爱一个人而宽容
像风的自由
你的深情难留
你的背影
是我最美丽的所有
___________________________________________

Really old song by one of my favourite singers, 范玮琪. I think its a pity that she isn't as big a star as she deserves to be. She's a really good singer and she has a very nice emotive quality to her voice. Plus, she's really pretty and smart (Harvard student!) too. And she's a really funny person, very sweet, caring and hilariously accident prone. She's the kind of girl who doesn't hide behind a mask and she's not afraid to show her goofy, rather silly side to fans and viewers. She's that genuine! And she's in a super long term relationship with 黑人, and the two of them are so darn sweet together... sigh!

Anyway, this song has amazing lyrics. And a tune that just urges you to hum along with it.

"因为想一个人而寂寞, 因为爱一个人而温柔
因为有一个梦而执着, 因为等一个人而折磨
因为想一个人而解脱, 因为爱一个人而宽容
因为有一个梦而放纵, 因为等一个人而漂泊"

I love the chorus... the lyrics are so... true. Yes. Rather lame, but yes, that's the beauty of it. Very good lyrics that sorta describes how everyone feels when they are stuck in something that isn't exactly reality yet.

One more day to mug! Time to fight on!

大将军? 小王子?

2008-03-27T09:43:00.006+08:00

"不要觉得他看起来斯斯文文，一幅很容易被欺负的样子. 他虽然像是一位小王子,但他其实是一位大将军, 发起狠来, 是决对不会心软的. 他看上的土地, 就是要定它, 若没得到手的话, 他就会用千方百计设法把它拿下. 所以你还是少去惹他好了..."

真的很想放弃一切, 不要再继续读下去了. 每天就是在读一些乱七八糟，超复杂，超无聊的鬼东西, 真的好想把书丢下, 完全都不想去管它, 只想躺着发呆. 但一想到这样很可能会有害得我得留级, 一时的冲动就会消失不见, 最后还是会带着很不愿意的心情, 回去翻开一些课本, 继续乖乖地读书.

自己毕竟是一个没胆子的人, 很多时候想做的事, 未必是自己敢去做的.
但是讲真的啦, 做事一定要有决心 , 不能有三分钟热度, 而这是我真的还未拥有的生活做习, 所以做很多事都往往经营到一半, 就会放弃不干了. 这样的生活态度, 也太对不起自己和大家了吧!

突然间还是觉得精神科是我应该选的专科. 以我这样的个性, 是完全没有当内科的耐性, 也没有当外科的霸气, 还是做回只需要讲很多话的精神科吧!

不过, 一切还是先把考试考好再说.... 嘿嘿.

when prayer so often proved in vain

2008-03-25T19:57:00.003+08:00

I was digging through my CD collection today when I came upon a CD that was burned by a friend of mine as a birthday present. Thinking that its been ages since I last listened to the songs in that album, I decided to listen to it. Written on the disc were the words 'Happy Birthday! You're 15 now!!!' Reading those words made me realize that THAT many years have already passed. Its quite bewildering really, because I can't seem to remember much details of what had happened in between the time spent til now. All that comes to mind is the amount of studying I did for my O'levels, then the A'levels and now Pros. Which brings to mind the image of me ,5 years from now, not being able to recall all the fun and interesting stuff I did in medicine when I look back to my medical school days then.

One of the songs in that album was the movie soundtrack version of 'There Can Be Miracles', which had the children's choir singing Hebrew in it. I remember being quite addicted to the song then. 5 years ago, I used to face any hardships with the rather uninspiring 'There can be miracles' quote. Somewhere along the road, I guess I dropped it. Perhaps its not to late to pick it up all over again.

Let there be miracles once more!

'i'll rather have a bagle'

2008-03-21T13:25:00.006+08:00

Its the final week before the start of our 2nd pros. Things have progressed in remarkably strange pace this week. There were days were nothing much was achieved, and days were progress was so unbelievable that I had to start doubting if anything ever seeped into that cerebrum of mine. And then there was the minor shock I had today, when I work up to find both my parents at home - for a moment, I thought that I had miscalculated the days left and that it was Sunday already. Turns out that today was a public holiday. Wow, like that would do wonders for my social calendar.

Yesterday was quite a blur. It was a day spent trying to recover from the sleep debt accumulated from staying up all night at Xiuzhen's 21st birthday party, and trying to do some amount of substantial studying to cover the horrific loss in study time for the preparation of the party itself. I don't really know how I did it, but in a strange twist of fate, it was the one day where I made the most progress so far in terms of studying. Must be the stress and pressure boring down on me then, granting me unprecedented powers in the field of focusing and concentration. Well, whatever it was I'm really thankful for it because it helped to force me to pick up the slack.

Anyway, I'm trying to study antibiotics and anti-fungal and anti-parasitic agents right now. Yes, I'm studying pharmacology again. It appears that I also develop a sudden urge to blog when I'm studying pharmacology. Must be all the pent up frustration and boredom with the subject.

Quote of the week: 'Happiness is a thumb and a wet blanket.'- Linus van Pelt

I shall now go to shower to attempt to make my continual mugging of antimicrobials more comfortable.

i'm linus!

2008-03-19T00:19:00.004+08:00

Which Peanuts Character are You?

You are Linus!
Take this quiz!

Quizilla |
Join

| Make A Quiz | More Quizzes | Grab Code

Okay, I'm having a 'Peanuts' overload today. I'm like Linus! This isn't the only quiz results that states I'm like Linus. But I think its quite true... I've been reading 'Peanuts' comics and yes, I do agree that I most like Linus. Stuck in his own world with his security blanket and thumb sucking and passive, loyal nature.

I've also come up with another addition 21st birthday gift idea! Apart from the HP-movie collectors wand and a stylish globe, I'll like a 'Peanuts' comic book: one of those books that are a collection of individual scripts and stuff. That'll be cool.

Just a suggestion folks. Don't get too serious over it. =P

pharmaco blues

2008-03-18T10:20:00.005+08:00

I've always known that Pharmacology would be the main obstacle to my completion of medical school. Even before I entered Med, I've always anticipated that I would develop an everlasting hatred for Pharmacology. "Loathing, unadulterated loathing! I will be loathing you my whole life long!"

To me, drugs just don't make sense. I would rather be studying about random body parts, strange facts on microbes or how diseases come about then memorizing obscure facts about each particular type of drug. Pharmacology just doesn't make any sense at all. Why do we, future doctors, have to memorise facts and properties about so many god-damn drugs when we probably won't actually prescribe half of them in our future work? And why do we have to memorize facts when there are formularies for us to consult in the work place? I just think that all the cramping on drugs that we are doing right now is entirely redundant mugging and way too taxing for us to go through. We should just be allowed to concentrate on other more useful and important facts and not on properties of some stupid drug with utterly fanciful names that all sound or look the same.

I absolutely hate pharmacology. Even though Pharmacology pros isn't til next year, drugs such as immunosuppressants, corticosteroids, antibiotics etc are tested this time round as well. It is one thing to study about living microbes that are at least very fascinating and interesting. It is an entirely different matter to study about synthetic, non-living compounds that have properties such as bioavailability, pharmacokinetics and pharmacodynamics, terms that are really as boring as their names suggest. Last night, I was attempting to study the notes on HIV therapy and antivirals: I stared at the page on mechanism of action for the drug Forscarnet for ages, but nothing went in. Even if you asked me today what Forscarnet does, I would probably just give you a smile and tell you that it 'f*cks you to death!' Okay, I know it does something to inhibit DNA and RNA polymerase, binding to some pyrophosphate bond or something, but my point is that Pharmaco is an utterly boring subject that I have absolutely no passion for and if it wasn't for the fact that I need to pass the subject to get my MBBS, I wouldn't be bothered with trying to memorizing these stupid facts at all.

If studying antiviral drugs was already such a pain the ass, just imagine the amount of work I have to go through for the stack of notes on antibiotics. I know that medical historians say that antibiotics are the saviours of mankind, but seriously, they should be renamed the killer-of-medical-students-who hate-pharmacology. I'm sorry Sir Alexander Fleming, but your discovery of Penicillin really makes me sad.

my life is a tragi-comedy

2008-03-14T19:47:00.003+08:00

Life throws you the punches, and it takes alot of guts to dare to roll with it. But every now and then, life throws you a super duper massive punch that makes you go *blink-blink*. Then you look at the fast approaching fist and you consider dodging it this way and that, but then, suddenly, something in your cerebrum goes *click* and you tell yourself, 'What's the point?' and then you don't even bother moving away as the fist comes crashing into you once pretty face.

My life is a tragi-comedy. Its very very funny and hilarious, because I am quite a funny, clumsy, crazy person, and I'm surrounded by funny funny friends. But at the same time, it is a tragedy, because tragic, most tragic, so tragic that they're tragically funny things start befalling onto me. I can almost smell the bittersweet scent of Irony as it comes streaking in front of me, shaking its stinky butt in my face and sticking out its slimy tongue, in total mockery of my totally sad state. I honestly can't decide whether I should laugh or yell in despair. I think I'll make do with something in between, like laughing while yelling or something.

To all my friends who messaged or called me and offered their condolences, a big thank you for your care and concern. I really appreciated it. It made the hilarity of the whole situation even clearer, and yes, made it clear that if someone deserves the award for ultimately suay-ness, either one of us Mr Yeos will get it (though I still think the other Mr Yeo deserves it more! =p)

Whatever comes next in my tragi-comedy of a life, it'll probably be either more tragic or even more hilarious. So to all who have so far enjoyed following 'The Damian Yeo Show', stay tuned for more exciting, heart-wrenching and hilarious things to come!

i live for the swarm!

2008-03-10T13:57:00.007+08:00

Blizzard Entertainment has made my day VERY special by finally releasing information about the Zerg. Yes, the Zerg, the last playable race of the Starcraft universe, has FINALLY ARRIVED!

According to reports so far, the Zerg have QUITE a number of new units, and retained a number of old classic ones. The Zerglings and Mutalisks were announced to be making a return quite a long time ago, as were the Ultralisks, which were also revealed to be in the game just a couple of weeks before. And today, we were given confirmation that three other classic units were making a comeback, namely the Hydralisks, Lurkers and the Queen, though the Zerg Queen has undergone a total transformation and is now RADICALLY different from its original incarnation!

Also, it has become quite clear that the Zerg is shaping up into a race that emphasizes more on ground motility and ground swarm tactics. While this has always been the case for the Zerg, this emphasis on total ground power has become more obvious in Starcraft 2. The number of unique types of ground troops that the Zerg now have is a staggering 10, while they only appear to have a total of 4 Zerg fliers. This clearly distinguishes them from the other races in Starcraft, including the Protoss, who have the most powerful airfleet in the Starcraft universe, and the Terrans, who are like a transition point between the two races.

Here are some radical screenshots of the newly released Zerg!

A battle between a swarm of new Zerg Corrupters against two Terran Battlecruisers.

The Zerg Swarm on the move: In this picture, you can see Hydralisks, Zerglings, Ultralisks, Lurkers and new units such as the Banelings, Infestors and Roaches, all scurrying about to invade the nearby terran base. The Zerg swarm just looks SO DAMN COOL.

A squad of Hydralisks and Lurkers attacking a Protoss defence encampment. The Protoss are really getting owned.

Zerg on Zerg attack. You can see the newly modified Zerg Queen in this. In the original Starcraft, she was a Zerg flier. Now she's really found a new niche in the Hive structure of the Zerg and has evolved into a ground unit - apparently, she's like a defense co-ordinator of the hive, with abilities to allow her to effectively defend the Zerg hive clusters. And you'll are currently only allowed to build one Queen in a single game, though this cap might changed considering how they removed the cap on the Protoss Mothership.

There are more Zerg screenshots and new demo videos on the net! ZERG GALORE!

GLORY TO THE SWARM!

Drink up, me hearties, yo ho!

2008-03-09T21:41:00.003+08:00

"Me? I'm dishonest, and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for, because you can never predict when they're going to do something incredibly... stupid." - Captain Jack Sparrow

Captain Jack Sparrow is SO entertaining! And Johnny Depp really is the most talented actor to have ever lived. There are actors who are just men pretending to be someone else, and then, there are actors who are really actors, men who live the characters that they are portraying, men who communicate with the characters they are portraying, men who really breathe life into characters that were moments before, just merely words describing who they really were. Johnny Depp is one such actor, and actors of such caliber are really really hard to come by. Which is why he is my favourite character, because all the quirky characters he portrays NEVER FAILS TO AMAZE ME AND MAKE WANT TO PLAY THE CHARACTER AS WELL!

This man deserves at least 5 Oscars! SO START GIVING THEM TO HIM ALREADY!

let's start from here

2008-03-09T00:54:00.004+08:00

And so the CAs are over! I think everyone's just thankful for a short break before the start of the final lap of mugging in Year 2. So let's all just enjoy this short two day break, get revitalized, rejuvenated, refreshed before the mad rush to the finish line!

And since its been absolutely AGES since I did a review of an album, here's one to get the long stagnated engine for music reviews rolling!

Introducing Joanna Wong, 王若琳! If you like female jazz/lounge/bossa nova singers like Norah Jones, Lisa Ono or even Rachel Yamagata, listen to Joanna Wong! Dubbed as Taiwan's very own Norah Jones, this talented songstress sings English Jazz songs so fluently and with such crisp annunciation, you would be forgiven if you ever doubt the fact that she was Taiwanese!

Norah Jones' voice has a crisp, clear quality to it. Lisa Ono's voice has an affable accessibility to it. Rachel Yamagata's voice has a husky, sexy feel to it. Joanna however, feels like a unique blend of Yamagta's huskiness, Ono's accessibility and Jones' crispness. She sings with a quality that is uniquely hers, but definitely puts her on the same level with all the other great female jazz singers.

'Start From Her', Joanna's debut album is a two disc album that features 17 tracks, 12 in English and the remaining 5 in Mandarin. Every track is filled with the emotive rich quality that only jazz can offer, but at the same time, is made with the same accessible quality that only pop can bring. While she is obviously more at home singing English, her attempts at creating Mandarin jazz songs is also praise worthy, and the quality of her Mandarin tracks are no less brilliant. All in all, this is another perfect album to add to your (or in this case, mine!) collection of CDs prefect for late night listening, either to shake off the awful feeling you get when you are mugging for the next exam that you are going to sit, or when you end up dumped and out of love. On the other hand, it is also a perfect album to listen to when you are feeling at peace with the world, and would just like to chill and be one with the universe, to relax and be cool as you settle down for the night, to dream the night away.

And so, lets start the final lap, right from here.

tis not an easy path to take

2008-03-05T21:32:00.004+08:00

Today's just one of the days where I really feel like CRAP for taking up my place in medical school, and subjecting myself to this much work, memory, studying and stress. Just when I felt like I was making progress in finishing the whole stack of notes on Infectious Diseases, I found a winzip file under my 'M2 Notes' folder that was unzipped. Thinking that it's very strange and discomforting to have an unzipped winzip file in my Notes folder, I decided to unzip it: lo and behold, out came 4 more sets of Infectious Disease notes, notes that I had conveniently forgotten about ages ago, and thus had not printed out (or studied) yet.

At that point in time, I just wanted to yell 'FUCK!' and just throw in the towel. For just that moment in time, I really felt like giving it up, freaking giving it all up and quit medical school and just stay home to rot. But then, the medical student in me promptly took over: I took a look at the clock on the wall, drew in a deep breath and proceeded to open the first file to start my reading.

Everytime I hear some fellow medical student complain and whine about how much stuff we have to learn; how hard they are forcing us to work, how little time for relaxing and fun we have; I have the urge to remind them that we chose this path ourselves, knowing full well what we were going to get ourselves into and that we have absolutely no right to complain. So I gave myself the exact same advise that I would give to another beleaguered medical student: stop the incessant whining, suck it all up and just slog on.

And please don't tell me that it isn't supposed to be easy, because that's just telling me what I already know.

OMG! i'm on youtube!

2008-03-02T00:03:00.010+08:00

HAHA, Geraldine uploaded two more new videos! These were from a concert at the Esplanade, my one and probably only time that I ever got to perform there. I think this concert precedes the one previously posted. Oh wait, Kailiang's in it as well! So yeah, it REALLY precedes the other concert then!

Honestly, the quality of this particular song was quite bad. HAHA. There were obvious blemishes and 管乐's 音准 was erm... not that good eh? And I remember that I never practiced this song properly! So yeah, wonderful memories!

I've performed this song like dunno how many times liao. Nice song though. Brings back lots of memories with the 中阮 people. Good times, good times!

It's probably going to be harder identifying me in these, because the camera guy didn't really focused on me. Again, really funny. AND WTF! I HAD DAMN BAD POSTURE WHILE PLAYING THE INSTRUMENT! Should have gotten a backbone then man!
________________________________________________________

Thanks to Geraldine, I'm ON youtube!

From some long forgotten era where I still played a Chinese Orchestra instrument called the Ruan (阮) and still looked like an anorexic nerd. Oh wait. That hasn't changed at all! I STILL look like an anorexic nerd! TRY AND FIND ME! A free drink for anyone who manages to find me in that mass of people!

If you looked carefully, there's this part where the video caught me changing notes halfway through the song, because I came to the realization that I was playing the WRONG note! Its quite funny when you realized that your mistakes on stage actually got caught on camera! But then, I wasn't that conscientious a musician anyway. Because I was so lazy, I didn't have the patience and will power to practice diligently, so I never mastered my instrument properly. But then again, that's a recurring theme in my life - I'm quite smart and talented enough to be okay in stuff I pick up, but because of my fickle-mindedness and laziness, I can never ever be perfect in them. Jack of all trades, but master of none.

On another note, it feels really WEIRD to see yourself on youtube. Now I know why certain actors never like to watch themselves on the screen - its just weird. It must have been weird for Gladys to discover that she was on youtube ages ago as well - boy, how I used to make fun of her when I discovered those videos! So I apologize Gladys, for any trauma I might have caused!

I actually think I made quite a number of mistakes in that performance! This is so funny! I think this video convinced me to not ever pick up that instrument for at least the next five years. I think I'm so much better off listening and appreciating it than being involved in producing it! Hehe.

but in dreams

2008-03-01T11:38:00.004+08:00

In Dreams - Edward Ross
When the cold of Winter comes
Starless night will cover day
In the veiling of the sun
We will walk in bitter rain

But in dreams
I can hear your name
And in dreams
We will meet again

When the seas and mountains fall
And we come to end of days
In the dark I hear a call
Calling me there
I will go there
And back again
_______________________________________________________

There are some songs/scores that you cannot listen to without becoming emo. One of them is this short song, called 'In Dreams'. It doesn't actually exist as a song on its own. In fact, its part of the song 'Breaking of the Fellowship', which of course, originates from the score of the movie soundtrack for 'The Fellowship of The Ring'. It is one of the many beautiful, uplifting (and sad) songs from the trilogy's amazing soundtrack and never fails to put me in a retrospective mood. Which is why you should never ever attempt to mug while listening to the 'Lord of the Rings' soundtracks. Trust me, I learnt the lesson the hard way last night.

What I love about this song is the lyrics. Its very poetic and speaks of both the joy of being with friends, and also the inevitable grief of parting with them. Like every other song from the 'Lord of the Rings' soundtrack, when taken in context of the film's plot, it is absolutely apt and just fits the storyline to a tee. Whenever I listen to this song, I'm always reminded, albeit a tab morbidly, of a funeral. Be it that of one of my friends, or even my own. If I were to choose a song to be played or performed during my funeral, I would choose this to be it. If I were to choose a song to sing at a friend's funeral, I would pick this as well. Because it speaks volumes, about the sadness of parting with people, but then again, it also gives us hope, that one day, we will all meet again.

All of the sudden, I miss being immersed in Middle-Earth again. I should have another trilogy session soon...

wisdom from many places

2008-02-28T11:25:00.006+08:00

"Fire is the element of power. The people of the Fire Nation have desire and will, and the energy and drive to achieve what they want.
Earth is the element of substance. The people of the Earth Kingdom are diverse and strong. They are persistent and enduring.
Air is the element of freedom. The Air Nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good senses of humor!
Water is the element of change. The people of the Water Tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.

It is important to draw wisdom from many different places. If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale. Understanding others, the other elements, and the other nations will help you become whole...It is the combination of the four elements in one person that makes the Avatar so powerful." - Iroh, from "The Legend of Aang, Avatar:The Last Airbender"

Nevermind that the speech above was from an animated series created by the West to glorify ancient Chinese culture. I still think the series rocks and the themes expressed by it are very very true.

The wonderful thing about Chinese culture is that, as much as detractors deride it to be overly archaic and traditionalistic, it really is an ocean of knowledge that continues to have its place and great relevance, even in today's modern society. I learn so much about the finer things in life, from it. It has so many aspects and facets: it comes in so many different forms that it never fails to surprise me. Be it art, music, or calligraphy; the different schools of martial arts; or religion and philosophy, Chinese culture never fails to teach you something. Take the study of the elements in something Western people call Feng Shui (and you say that with a Western slang!): I think its more of a form of philosophy in life. Its something that I find highly enlightening and highly intriguing, because it not only can be applied to so many things in real life, it can also be link to Western astrology as well.

Air is the element of freedom, it teaches you to evade and avoid all forms of danger and attacks, to outwit and outmaneuver the enemy and thus achieve victory via non-confrontation.
Water is the element of change, it teaches you to redirect forces directed at you and turn them against the opponent, to turn your enemy's own offense against him, to achieve offense in defense.
Earth is the element of substance, it teaches you to stand your ground and endure, to tolerate and absorb all attacks, to be still and wait til the right opportunity before striking with an attack of your own.
Fire is the element of power, it teaches you to defend yourself using a pre-emptive first strike, to attack while the plate is hot, to strike before others do, because the best defense is in a strong offense.

If you think about it, you can apply this school of thought to everyday life and even personality. Just like astrology, which classifies different star signs into different elemental groups, Feng Shui also studies this as well. Each personality type (or elemental type) deals with problems or live life in different ways.

Air signs are more idealistic and contemplative, they live life in a rather pacifistic manner, avoiding conflict and maneuvering around life's constant changes, preferring not to care about earthly troubles, living life in their own carefree manner.
Water signs are more emotional and adaptable, they live life while dealing with their everchanging emotions, but are highly understanding, caring individuals who flow and adapt through life, taking whatever comes and modifying it for their advantage.
Earth signs are more materialistic and stoic, they live life rooted to things that give them purpose, standing their ground, letting their stubborn nature outmatch the changes around them, and forging their lives in slow steady steps.
Fire signs are more aggressive and enthusiastic, they live life in a rather fast paced, fiery way, driven by a strong sense of desire, will and enthusiasm to achieve things that they strive to want, to create that exciting life they desire.

See! Its just perfect. And I think its so true. Learning and knowing such things really helps you understand how people think and act and do stuff!
I think we have lots to learn from Chinese culture. There's still so much knowledge to share, like opposing elemental signs, more in depth analysis of each signs etc. And the good thing about 'Avatar' is that it makes all the four elements so different, but together, they are actually just the same parts of 1 whole, because you need to understand the nature of all 4 elements to achieve a kind of peace with the world.

Just in case you were wondering, I'm an air elemental kind of guy. Just like Aang, the protagonist of the animated series. Which means I should be a master of Airbending. But I think its quite true though, because I skirt through life without seemingly achieving anything at all. Just caught up in my lovely little air filled bubble.

frozen grand central

2008-02-27T19:19:00.002+08:00

This is awesome! If someone dared initiate it in Singapore, I shudder to think of the consequences. Then again, if someone had the guts and balls to lead the way, I'll probably join it for the fun of it. But only if it comes after my Exams (or at least CAs) of course.

unburrowing

2008-02-24T18:18:00.005+08:00

OMG! I have INTERNET! This is one of the happiest things that could have happened to me in a long long time! The past two days were horrible for me because moving house sucks. So much hard work, I really missed mugging! And not to mention the internet and SCV connection were both down for the whole of yesterday: miraculously, both services are now fully restored! Only thing left is the lack of air conditioning and telephone lines before the whole house would be restored to pre-moving order!

And guess what? In celebration of my revitalized internet connection, Blizzard leaked a photo of the new ZERG ULTRALISK! WOO HOO! I am a Zerg fanatic, and my Starcraft race of choice is the Zerg, so I'm fanatical for any amount of Zerg related information that Blizzard's willing to let slip right now, because its so unfair for them to keep withholding info on the Zerg when we have been treated with so much information on the Protoss and Terrans already. But anyway, with the reveal of the Ultralisk, it officially brings the total number of Zerg unit reveals to a miserly 5. And here they are:

The mighty Ultralisk! These beasts are the largest of all Zerg units, with massive sabre like tusks to slash their opponents into pieces. It looks so different from its original form, which had a mammoth like appearance. It looks like a giant lobster on legs this time round. Lets see how Blizzard's going to tweak the character design again.
Next to the mammoth Ultralisk is the tiny Zergling. Staple unit of Zerg armies. Nothing much to say here. Zerglings have always been somewhat constant in terms of appearance, so there's not much room to nitpick really.

The floating creature is the Overlord! I think the new Overlord design is freaking cool. I love it loads, because its definitely an improvement on the original design. This new design gives it a more alien look. Cool.
The green little things there are the first truly NEW Zerg units introduced into the game - the Banelings. While all other Zerg units revealed so far were also featured in the original, Banelings are totally novel. These suicide bombers are evolved from the basic Zerglings, and they look damn cool in action when they were featured in the very first Protoss gameplay demo ages ago. Judging from their introduction, I think we have lots more delightful new Zerg units to come.

The Mutalisk, the standard Zerg flier. The Mutalisk was one of my other favourite Zerg unit, the other being the classic Hydralisk. I think the Mutalisk look damn cool too, and their flying and attacking animation looks perfect in the Protoss intro video as well.

I love ZERG. Can't wait for the rumoured big Zerg release coming up in May or August. ARGH!

well, its goodbye green meadows

2008-02-22T22:57:00.005+08:00

Well, tonight's the last night that I will be spending in the place that I had so fondly called home for the past 20 years. I've lived here all my life and now, its time to say goodbye.

My family was having a farewell gathering for the house on Sunday, with my whole extended family and all. One of my uncles asked if I felt sad with regards to the moving. I was struck dumb by that question, and told him, 'Not really.', to which my uncle exclaimed 'But you grew up here! You should have some emotional attachment to the place!' I decided to go for the smile politely and slowly back away tactic to avoid anymore questions.

If anything, that conversation got me thinking about why I don't have any emotions with regards to leaving this place. I mean, my uncle was right. I practically grew up in this house. For the past 20 years, it had seen me grow from a baby that won't shut up to a young man who knows the importance of shutting up. All my developmental milestones: my first step, my first word, chickenpox, puberty, losing consciousness - all were experienced right here. By convention, I should be sad that I'm leaving. But I'm not.

I don't think I am a very sentimental person. Or rather, I don't show my sentiment easily. When crunch time comes, I suppress or rationalize all feelings of emotion and sentiment. Deep down inside, I am sure that I probably do feel some nuance of sadness, of regret that we have to leave, but then these feelings are just not surfacing. I think I've grown up to face any feelings of sadness in the same fashion as how I deal with all trials and tribulations, that is just stand up, face it, and move on. Clear cut, no emotional drag and sentimental messiness.

Does that make me a cruel, callous, unfeeling person? I don't know. Some part of me regrets that I've grown into someone who just doesn't see the point in being sentimental over such things. But then, it just doesn't make sense to be sad over something that's just a phase in life. You think of it, you cherish it, you remember it - yes that's my definition of sentimental, but don't keep wishing it would come back and moping over the fact that is gone. That's just a whole new level of pathetic behavior. Move on, but don't forget and everything still lives on in your OWN heart.

Whatever way our stories end, some things can never be changed.

So its goodbye Green Meadows. I'll miss the whole thing about the big sheep living in the green meadows. It was funny while it lasted. =)

you make me smile, where ever you go

2008-02-20T01:06:00.002+08:00

Colbie Caillat's "Bubbly".
MAN, I WANT HER ALBUM!!!!

interesting quiz

2008-02-17T21:41:00.003+08:00

My cousins came up with this quiz. I think its pretty accurate!

Here it goes! Use the first answer that comes to your mind after each question (my answers are in the brackets!):
1.Imagine that you walking in a forest, and you see a house. Is the door open, close or slightly open? (close)
2. You enter the house and there is a table in the hall. What is its shape? (rectangular)
3. On the table, there is a bowl. What material is it made of? (Porcelain)
4. There is water in the bowl. How much water is in the bowl? (Half full)
5. You walk out of the house through a back door, and you notice a set of keys on the ground. How many keys are there? (7)
6. As you walk deeper into the forest, you suddenly come across a huge castle. Is it new and beautiful or old and derelict? (Old.)
7. You decide to explore the castle. In the front of the castle, there is a huge pond of dirty water with coins in it. Would you take the coins? (No.)
8. At the back of the castle, there is another pond, this time filled with clean water and full of jewels in it. Would you take the jewels? (No.)
9. You decide to take a walk in the vast gardens when you notice a box. How big is it? (big enough to fit a human)
10. What material is the box made of? (metal, with ornate symbols of ancient Chinese creatures)
11. Nearby, there is a bridge. What material is the bridge made of? (stone)
12. On the bridge, there is a horse. What colour is it? (white)
13. Is the horse eating/drinking, walking around or just standing there doing nothing?
14. Suddenly, a hurricane appears out of nowhere. Do you hide in the box, run away on the horse, or hide under the bridge?
- THE END -

And now for the answer key.
1. Door is open: you are an open person
Door is closed: you are a closed person
Door is slightly open: you are a somewhat open, but with inhibitions

2. Table has 4 corners eg. square or rectangle: you choose your own friends
Table had no corners eg. circle, oval: you don't choose your own friends

3. The material of the bowl reflects how fragile you can be. I don't think I'm as fragile as porcelain though!

4. The amount of water in the bowl reflects how happy you are with life right now. I guess life's okay these days, but I've seen better and I'm glad its not worse.

5. The number of keys on the key chain reflects the number of best/really close friends you have. Apparently I have 7, but I counted that I actually have MORE than that. I guess it just means I tend to have quite alot of friends that I consider to be close to!

6. New castle: You can't live without love.
Old castle: You can live without love. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

7.Take the coins in the dirty water: You like to flirt alot, even when you are attached.
Won't take the coins: You don't flirt, especially when you are attached. (NOT LIKE SOME PEOPLE I KNOW! TSK TSK!)

8. Take the jewels in the clean water: You would not hesitate to woo any unattached person that you like.
Won't take the jewels: You would hesitate to woo any person that you like, even if they are unattached. (SO TRUE, SO TRUE!)

9. The size of the box indicates the size of your ego. In my case, its big enough to house a human! SO VERY TRUE!

10. The material of the box indicates how much of a show off you are. The more elaborate the material of the box, the more you are of a show off. In my case, I'm a bloody show off! That's ME!

11. The material of the bridge reflects how strong your friendships are. In my case, its rock solid. WOW.

12. A bright colour horse: You expect your other half to be perfect
A dull colour horse: You like your other half to have flaws

13. The horse is eating/drinking: You other half is someone with extremely good taste
The horse is walking around: Your other half tends to be wild and uncontrolled
The horse is just standing there: Your other half tends to be very causal and easy going

14. You hide in the box: You keep problems to yourself.
You run away with on the horse: You go to your other half first when you are in trouble.
You hide under the bridge: You go to your friends first when you are in trouble.

Interesting. Very interesting indeed.

running out of time

2008-02-17T09:46:00.002+08:00

With the end of lessons for M2, and the last round of CAs and our 2nd Pros in sight, my second year of medical education is fast coming to an end. And right now, I am seriously running out of time. Due to sheer miscalculation and foolishness, I have given myself far more time to study then there actually is. Which is a sad thing, because now I have to enter a phase of sheer isolation and lock myself up to hasten my pursuit of knowledge, and to survive the upcoming period of severe trials and tribulations. And in the midst of it all, I have to deal with the fact that we are moving over on the 23rd and 24th, a weekend that could prove valuable to anyone's study plan. This is NOT good indeed.

As of now, I have NOT failed a single test in Med school before. I intend to keep it that way, and I really don't intend to start failing right now.

I shall now take a deep breathe and exhale slowly to allow the essence of my chi to flow from my abdomen to my heart and to my head. To clear the mind, is the first essential step to victory over your doubts and fears.

我只在乎你

2008-02-13T20:38:00.005+08:00

我只在乎你
如果沒有遇見你　我將會是在那裡
日子過得怎麼樣　人生是否要珍惜
也許認識某一人　過著平凡的日子
不知道會不會　也有愛情甜如蜜

任時光匆匆流去　我只在乎你
心甘情願感染你的氣息
人生幾何　能夠得到知己
失去生命的力量也不可惜

所以我求求你　別讓我離開你
除了你我不能感到一絲絲情意

如果有那麼一天　你說即將要離去
我會迷失我自己　走入無邊人海裡
不要什麼諾言　只要天天在一起
我不能只依靠　片片回憶活下去
___________________________________________

Thanks to Paul's performance at the 心年快乐 event this afternoon, this song is stuck in my head right now. I know lots of people love the original by Teresa Teng, but I must say I love the Sodagreen version best.

Its a very poignant song, with touching lyrics. I must say I was almost moved to tears this afternoon, not only due to Paul's rendition of this song, but also by David's and Joanna's strings duet of another Teresa Teng classic '月亮代表我的心' (or was it '甜蜜蜜'?) . I must be really really exhausted to feel that way. These two days have been particularly tiring and trying for me, and I have NO idea why. Feels as if I've reached the brink of exhaustion and something is struggling to pull me away from oblivion before I collapse and die.

Anyway, I wish I could sleep now. Exhaustion gives you a horribly short fuse. I hope it doesn't blow anytime soon.

Sidenote: its the end of CNY break, and I feel horribly, horribly depressed. I've never felt so sad about starting school before. But then again, I've never started school after a long break with a whole month of exams and CAs for me to tackle so I guess its only natural for me to feel this damn way.

where has all the money gone?

2008-02-12T01:29:00.001+08:00

I'm sure many of you out there gambled during the holidays, but I'm willing to bet I'm the person who lost the most. Over the course of the first three days of CNY, I've lost a total of over 103 dollars: 43 to Mahjong, and 60 to a horrific game called Tim. Yes, what can I say? I belong to a family of really really generous gamblers - we really aim to hit it big. You should see the adults play poker! At one point, my Dad lost over a thousand dollars and my Mom lost over 700 dollars.

The good news is that I managed to recover some losses. I just finished a game of Mahjong with my mom, dad, and brother, and I managed to win a total of 20 dollars. Wonderful. I was actually winning over 130 dollars at the end of the 1st round, but my family insisted on playing at least 2 rounds, which did not go well with me. I KNOW MY LIMITS. I have absolutely no stamina in long games of Mahjong (or anything for that matter) and whatever amazing luck and brilliance I had in the first round promptly vanished with the commencement of the next round. That was how I lost 43 dollars in the previous days as well. It was through sheer perseverance and grit that I managed to even hold on to any amount of winnings today. Thank god I did because if I were to lose even more money today, I would freak out and throw myself down the gutter.

I sometimes wonder if this sort of behavior is really good for our moral development, and that if we are that rich to squander such wealth away. It is not only us, adults who gamble quite heavy handedly, my younger cousins also gamble quite heavily as well. Their average winnings per round of games range from like 10 to 15, which was way more than what I played for when I was their age. And they are crazy about winning money! You should watch them fight it out for their money, its really scary. And when the younger ones lose money, they'll come asking you for a loan, which I find totally amusing and a tad bit alarming.

AND, lest some pesky friends of mine start taking attempting to take the mickey out of me, I must hereby state that I am NOT that rich. I think my family just loves gambling during CNY, because it makes the whole festival so much more festive. I probably wouldn't love CNY that much if I didn't have this annual gambling fest to look forward to.

Another note: The first week of CNY is coming to an end, which means, my break is over. By right, I am supposed to start revision for the upcoming CAs, but by left, I am not doing so. This is very very sad indeed.

Random note: Mahjong is really such a deep, fascinating game.

happy CNY

2008-02-08T02:00:00.000+08:00

Happy CNY! I know many of my English educated friends hate CNY, but then I also happen to know a number of my Chinese educated friends who hate CNY as well, so there's really no understanding why so many of my peers dislike it. Despite the overwhelming dislike for it, I must say that no matter how cynical and jaded I become, CNY will always be an important part of my social calendar. That's because I'm an oddity in this world!
I know it can be a pain in the ass to go on all those sometimes meaningless house visits but when you are like me, who witnessed a gradual decrease in the number of house visit stops you have to make annually, you realise the importance of such annual visits - there's no knowing who you won't get to ever see again in the next year.

And thanks to my brother, I don't have to face any questions about whether I have a girlfriend or when I am getting married! He absorbs all such questions, while I face the obligatory furore about being a future doctor.

And there's mahjong. And Bakwa. And pesky cousins. And more mahjong and bakwa. Its the perfect season to fall sick.

Must make a mental note to do some studying too!

Wishing you all a very very prosperous and non verminated year of the Rat! HUAT AH!

where are all the tiles, dogs and dresses?

2008-02-06T01:00:00.000+08:00

Last day of school ever before the year of the Rat arrives. I think I was sort of determined to really live it up today, but lots of exciting things happened - like me collecting my stethoscope and sphygmomanometer and tendon tappers. And it was Szejia's 21st Birthday celebration today. It was hilarious because we wanted to surprise her during her PBL lesson with a cake, but somehow, the liaising was screwed up and when the whole OG burst in the room, the PBL group looked at us as if we were crazy or something. Totally weird.

After that, a bunch of us went to Shihui's house to play a round of Mahjong, while waiting for the rest of the people to finish their respective PBLs. It was a most excruciating game for me because I was locked in an eternal struggle with Edwin, as we both tried to out-niao each other and outplay each other as well. In the end, I lost horribly. I was the biggest loser of the game, which was quite sad because I was the first winner. I swear I will get my revenge when we go visit Minjia's house on Sunday! Oh yes I am!

We waited for the rest of the folks to finish their lessons, and also played with Shihui's dogs Sparky and Wa-wa as well. I am so jealous of my friends who have pets. Its quite sad that my mom hates dogs and absolutely forbids me to keep one. I would love to have a dog, preferably a Labrador or Golden Retriever. I'll probably give him a real smart alecky name or something and make him chase people. Haha.

Then a bunch of us went of to meet Szejia and Yinxia to have dinner and watch a movie. I had a really good bowl of japanese noodles with scallops! And although some of us wanted to watch "Sweeney Todd", Szejia didn't want to so in respect of the Birthday Girl's wishes, we decided to watch a movie of her liking instead.

I never thought I would watch it, but yes, I ended up watching '27 Dresses' in honor of Szejia's birthday celebrations today. I must say it was actually quite enjoyable, undeniably cliche, but still enjoyable. Yinxia says its because me and Sara were making alot of funny comments and sound effects. Like me saying "Ooooooohhhhhh" when bad things happen (to the total silence of the theatre) and Sara laughing for absolutely no reason. Yinxia thinks its amazing, I personally think that the rest of the movie-goers must think we are pests! But ANYWAY, it was quite an entertaining movie. It had some really witty lines, and the acting was quite good. Thought the storyline was most predictable: Sara had the whole formula out halfway through the show, which was absolutely hilarious.

The start of the CNY break! I have a total of 8 days without school! HOW COOL IS THAT! Of course, I have to start studying then of course... but still. Pretty pretty happy baby!

i'm sick

2008-02-04T23:16:00.000+08:00

For the first time in ages, I'm really ill. This is so sad. I'm feverish, with coughs and uncontrollable sneezing. My head fills like its filled with liquid all squishing to get out. My eyes are watery and tired. My chest hurts and fills locked in a state of constriction. I feel like I'm dying. It looks like I've gotten my annual CNY virus, but only this time round, it has decided to pay me an earlier visit. Which kinda sucks because it means I'll be laying off the delicious (but sadly, super unhealthy) CNY goodies for the time being.

I strongly suspect that I caught whatever Junjia had on Friday at Suan's birthday party. She was ill then and Geraldine, Alex and I shared the same desert and appetizers with her. And now Geraldine and I are both sick. Put one plus one together and you get your straight forward answer. Which totally sucks because I absolutely CAN'T concentrate in whatever I'm doing, which includes listening to lectures, studying for CAs, playing computer games and watching TV.

My nose feels like a tap. *snivel*

I bet I could produce enough nasal discharge to flood the whole room. *snivel snivel*
Provided, of course, that I don't die from Pneumonia!

I CAN'T WAIT FOR CNY TO ARRIVE SO I CAN SLEEP THIS VIRUS AWAY.

this brings back memories

2008-02-02T13:13:00.000+08:00

Every weekend, I watch repeats of the classic Channel 8 drama, "东游记" also known as the "Legend of the 8 Immortals". Its one of my favourite Channel 8 dramas ever, and one of the last before I entered secondary school and stopped watching Channel 8 dramas altogether.

What I loved about the show then was its charismatic cast, that while not Hollywood perfect, had perfect chemistry and really portrayed their characters well. And of course the story between the characters, especially the whole friendship and camaraderie theme among the 8 Immortals, in particular that between the three 2nd generation immortals (who later became the most powerful of the lot): Lu Dong Bin, Han Xiang Zi & He Xian Gu. Now that I'm rewatching the series, I find that I love the show for exactly the same reasons, though I must say the animation, based on today's standards, is really tacky.

My favourite characters are Han Xiang Zi, He Xian Gu and Zhang Guo Lao. Han Xiang Zi because he is the perfect gentleman and I wanted to be like him, He Xian Gu because of her strong sense of righteousness and loyalty to friends and Zhang Guo Lao because he is so funny! How I wish I were an Immortal and I could be flying in the clouds and saving people!

Oh and it had an amazing theme song too! Absolutely loved it!

For Good

2008-02-01T10:22:00.000+08:00

Song lyrics | For Good lyrics

This happens to be from the last ever performance of Wicked! by Kristin Chenoweth, who was the very first, very original Glinda. Its so sad to watch the two actresses, who bonded so well, had so much chemistry together, sing this song for the very last time together. Its so apt.

Why doesn't anyone like Glinda? She's quite pitiful too, stuck in her eternal cycle of being a slave for the system. And honestly, I am probably more like her than Elphaba.

This happens to be one of the best songs (if not the best) in Wicked!. Its so touching, and the lyrics are amazing. Perfect for graduation ceremonies and celebrating friendships.

"Because I knew you, I have been changed for good."
Sigh.

no comment.

2008-01-31T23:59:00.000+08:00

Today's one of the crappiest days ever. A total roller coaster of emotions. I was happy in the morning, shocked at noon, in a high in the afternoon, and was promptly sent crushing downwards later, recovered in the evening and night, only to be promptly made angry by startling revelations later that night.

I shall not comment on what has happened, because it is not constructive to comment on things that have already happened. I don't really know what to say actually. I'm like seriously loss for words at the speed at which things happened. All I can say is that I am not going to blame anybody, because I am bigger hearted than that.

ANYWAY, on to happier stuff.
Alice turned 21! I haven't seen the XC people for ages, partly due to personal isolation or whatever. But anyway, I turned up horribly late for the dinner get together. Chit chatted and caught up with most who were there. Also listened to people deplore how horribly thin I've become, which I totally do not agree with. Think I made a fool of myself again, and also found out from Eileen (who's studying TCM in NTU) that I have a heaty pulse and extremely weak chi or something. Which is quite true because I'm most likely dying. Enjoyed a nice train ride home with my dearest junior Xinhui, where we emo-ed about University life and how difficult it has turned out to be. Got home quite late, but still it was interesting to meet up and see how everyone has changed.

popular, avenue Q style!

2008-01-30T20:40:00.000+08:00

OMG, if you are a fan of the musicals Wicked! and Avenue Q, you have to watch this! Trekkie and Kate Monsters singing one of the funnier songs from Wicked! Its so freakin' funny! I love the original West End cast of Avenue Q, they have so much god damn chemistry! It takes so much chemistry to be able to get this act together, the well timed hesitations and the cross fire singing. Amazing.

"Don't be offended by my frank analysis, think of it as personality dialysis!" I love this freakin' line!

what would you see in the forest?

2008-01-30T09:03:00.000+08:00

Just a quick personality test. Some of you out there may have heard of it before, but I thought it's quite interesting. Here goes:

Imagine that you are a jungle explorer. One day, you decided to enter this huge jungle to explore the many different species of animals there. As you first step into the foliage of the jungle, you spot a first animal. What kind of animal is it? (My Ans: Monkey)

You proceed onwards. After trekking for a long time, you heard a sound beside you and you decided to turn to look at the source of it. What animal do you see? (My Ans: Bird)

After a whole day of exploring the jungle and seeing many different wondrous animal species, you decide to call it a day. As you walk out of the jungle, you decide to turn to look at the forest one last time. And lo and behold, there's an animal there! What animal do you see? (My Ans: Elephant)

Okay, so just think of the three animals you would see in the respective situations.
The first animal is supposed to represent how you see yourself.
The second animal is supposed to represent how others view you.
The third animal is supposed to represent the animal that's most like you.

I find it quite accurate, because I think I do see myself as a monkey sometimes. And the whole bird thing. I think people view me as a free, independent spirit that flies around. Just like a bird. But the elephant. I dunno if its a good thing to be an elephant. Maybe it justs means I'm actually very wise, steady and down-to-earth too. Or that I'm friendly and nice but when angered will maul people to death. Which is quite true too.

我爱的人

2008-01-28T22:53:00.000+08:00

"我爱的人" - 陈小春/林宥嘉
我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等
她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深
我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声
___________________________________________

I just felt that today's a perfect day to listen to this song.
I am going crazy! Argh!